Acceptance, Self love; tips, memes and my thoughts

This morning I woke up thinking about acceptance. Our acceptance or ourselves. I think that is where it all begins, and everything else follows. So, I'll admit I sleep bottomless. Just a t-shirt nothing else, my shoulders get chilly. Have slept that way since I was about fourteen, couldn't stand the confinement. Anyway, the last year since seeing the @BigCMen and @DevinFranco Pornhub vid, where Daddy Cory calls Devin pussy---which I wrote about here... I wake up every morning, first thing; I open my legs wide, reach down between them and pet, pat and lightly spank my pussy and verbally say, "I love my pussy, thank you for being my pussy."

Sometimes, dig out my dildo and poppers and start the day with some "wreckage". A friend last year, during the height of COVID-19 and my four and a half month self isolation suggested this tip too, which I did every day. Three times a day actually:

Strip naked, get on all fours in bitch pose. Pussy up, legs spread wide, back arched, head on the floor and say, "I am pussy and I LOVE myself being pussy." He recommended saying it fifty times in a row, like chanting and I have a string of Hindu prayer beads that I used to keep track of how many times I was saying it.

You can take this a step further, which is what I did and while riding your favorite dildo say "your mantra". Same amount of times or more. Riding a dildo I would say it every single thrust in and out. In my thinking this cemented my place, even though I had 98% bottomed since day one, first sexual experience right out the gate. Of course after hearing the term Daddy Cory used, I stumbled accidentally on the term pussyboy and as a writer, my research went into overkill. I HAD to understand this thinking. HAD to! Once I did, as Ms. Cracker says, "Shabbat, shablam" it all made sense. I had been that all my life and didn't fully know the term or when it become vogue. The mantra's just cleared the way for my full acceptance. Fem terms are the only ones I use now, for me it is WHO I am. It makes sense to me. It's how I view myself. I write this blog and do what I do on Twitter as I want and feel the need to help others, that's my Daddy side.

I want to celebrate, empower, rejoice in and help others like me to, "Live their best bottom life" or better yet, "Their best pussy life." There never needs to be shame, or guilt, or fear, or doubt or dread. NONE of it, do you hear me! This is my Daddy side kicking in here.

 

Submission: Meme's and my thoughts

Submission is the starting point. It’s the mindset required for you to achieve everything you need to fulfill your purpose. Submission isn’t the goal, it isn’t your purpose. It is only the starting point. Submission allows you to empty your brain, allows your Daddy to replace the contents with HIS own thoughts, ideas, opinions, and desires. Submission allows you to accept you are an empty vessel and in need of ownership. Submission is where it all begins, preparing yourself to be molded by Daddy who gives you the gift of allowing you to worship him. Becoming what he deserves. Never thinking of anything beyond what he deserves. That is the goal. Submission is the starting point. 

Receiving= getting fucked. Simply receiving. It looks easy, but there is a lot of training in it. This boi has learned to keep his hands away, keep his legs spread wide. The boi knows that its limp dicklet/clitty/nubbin is irrelevant. Daddy isn’t interested in how the boi is doing. HE isn’t interested in the boi’s enjoyment. He isn’t interested in what the boi is thinking. HE is interested only in the total submission of the boi. HE is interested in the boi’s focus on the Daddy's pleasure only. HE is interested in getting what HE wants, what HE deserves. Boi's, this is all HE ever wants from you, an open, willing, greedy, hungry pussy. Keep your mouth shut unless HIS dick is in it, keep your head empty, and keep submitting, obeying, and being grateful for the opportunity to worship.

Submission: Thoughts & Memes

You look up at him with hesitation in your eyes.  He is a MAN and every fiber of your being tells you to do as he says, even though it goes against everything you have ever believed. 

You trust him. He was your first. He taught you to suck his cock. He took your cherry and stretched out your cunt to fit his cock perfectly. He has taken the time to show you your proper place in life, and you appreciate that. You have come to, not only accept his cock inside of your pussy, you have learned to crave it. You feel complete only when he is ramming his dick in one of your holes. 

You are kneeling in front of him with his cock down your throat, waiting for him to cum. You are going to be digesting his sperm. You will be nothing more than a place to him to cum in. A convenient object for him to use. But you trust him. If he says that this is what you were born to do, what you were made for, then it is true. You are nothing more than a set of holes put on this earth to make the lives of MEN better. Wrapping your cock sucking lips around his shaft and swallowing his CUM is the best use for your mouth.

You trust him, so when you feel his cock flex in your mouth and the hot cum begins to flow, you swallow, as instructed. It never seems to end, you kneel there for several minutes looking up at him as he cums down your throat. When he finishes, you carefully suck the last drops from him and make sure he is clean. He pats you on your head. Having used you, he MIGHT be done with you.

Kneeling in the empty room, you realize that you feel…….fulfilled is the best word for it. You have served your purpose. IF your lucky HE will fuck your pussy stupid, leaving your cunt gaping, cummy, and happily sore. This is our life, my life as HIS pussyboy!

 

Superiority?

 So, I posted this on Twitter awhile back, something I found on the Internet that I felt fit what I Tweet about, which is being pussyboy, which in my mind--- at least-- is a step differnt than just sub. That, at least for me, I see myself more than just a sub. Maybe, a bit deeper into the mindset-- if you will, but the same ideas just off kilter a bit. I't hard to explain as I'm still trying to process what I truly want to say about MY being pussy, which has changed my first post here on the topic.

Anyway, I got a reply back:

I don't mean to be disrespectful. But I've spent my entire life with that inferiority issue, due largely in part to being overweight and "average." I refuse to be humiliated and shamed just because I don't look like a mainstream porn star. Yet likely perform better than some. I guess this is why I make a lousy sub. I love servicing men, and I take great joy in doing it. I am known for putting the needs/desires of others first. But I am not inferior. As a matter of fact, a skilled "inferior" can have a great deal of control over the "superior" one.

Ok, this is just MY TAKE on this issue. Superiority in my thinking is he has achieved something I never will... MACHISMO! A strong masculine pride. I'm far from masculine. I've been accused of, in the past, of being far too sissified for my own good. Uh, yup. Bingo, you win a prize; and you know something I'm damn proud of it too. I'm gay! I love sex with men! I take it up the ass as much as I can get it. I rarely ever top; I can actually count the times. I view my "hole" as pussy. I call it that, and I enjoy... believe it or not... being emasculated because I've never fully seen myself as a man. I certainly don't see myself as a woman either, I'm unique. Third gender if you will, as Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld wrote and spoke about in the 1890's to 1930's. A male, with a feminine soul.

I wasn't meant to top other men. I knew this very early on, like at fifteen or so; But I knew very early on I was different. The word gay came into my life at thirteen when the bullying started, but it also made everything click. Oh that is what this is. I'm also the type that makes a great housewife. Actually the military came in with one of those tests of what you can do based on a myriad of things and I was told I could be a housewife, or a secretary if I APPLIED myself to do that <lol>. I'm also the type to blur gender lines; like wearing high heeled shoes wearing a man's suit or wear makeup as a man. But I've always been like that. It doesn't make me less just different. Different is good for if we were all the same life would be boring as fuck!

But, societal norms say that does NOT qualify as "manly" before. My response is fuck that! Why do I have to fit YOUR norms? I don't. Not now. Not ever. I'm happy being male, happy being a sissy, happy being a #girlboy, happy being seen as effeminate. I'm truly me and aren't we all suppose to be that way? Our own true selves.

Now on to another issue.... I'm 54 fucking years old! In gay life that's like 350 years old. I've always been average. Always. And as I age, it's still true. But what percentile of our population fit that stereotype? I think it few and far between, with average guys making up the bulk; but we are forced feed this societal norm of male beauty, masculinity, youth, ruggedness and other bullshit that we for MANY reasons buy into it. In all of my years of having sex with men, the vast majority are just average... like me. I've had a few real "head turners" in my day but they are very few; and the older I get the less it happens. Old in gay life seems to represent undesirable but yet last year when I did research into aging and being gay 60% of our LGBTQIA+ population is OVER 50 years old! Where is that representation? Where is that gay porn? Where are those models and images--- you get the idea. No where because aging for society is undesirable as well. Honey we all, for the most part do it. As my Gram used to say it beats the alternative!

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I've suffered from body dysmorphia my entire life when it comes to my weight, and no matter what I weigh it is 3000% worse than reality! From being anorexic at 105 pounds--- I stand 5ft. 10 in. by the way--- to obese at 280 pounds. So I get the issue big time. In the last year and a half I went from 280 to 180. I look amazing! I feel better too. But I worked my butt off. But, if I get back up there I know now I'm comfortable with my self image--- finally--- no matter what I weigh. Health is a different issue for me, anyways but that's another post <lol>.

I think, at least for some of us, that are subs we might long to be the things we are not; but true happiness comes in knowing who you are, what you are and what you want. Accepting it, embracing it, and finally celebrating it!

I think our journey's in life are uniquely our own. Our struggles, trials, triumphs, tragedy's, successes, failures or whatever are also uniquely our own as we individually handle these issues differently. The paths we choose are different. The results are different. It's all different. But, I also think we can all learn from each other if we just listen.

Superiority and inferiority is a societal pressure. Somebody, always has to be better at something, or so it seems. But I'm not one that advocates shaming, belittling, bullying others EVER! Differences just make us different nothing more.