Emasculation: Meme's and thoughts

“Stick your tongue out at me, baby boy, and Daddy's going to put it to real good use. Your so goddamn pretty in in your pretty pink panties Daddy bought for you. It's not hard to resist my baby girl looking like that”. This was the warning I gave before I fucked his throat pussy over and over, blowing load after load on his face until he was completely glazed. Then I made him lick it all up. My finger comes out of his slick pussy. I give a lil slap on his boi-ovaries and I let go of his face.

"Turn around, baby girl, show Daddy that beautiful pussy." 

Then them hands was on my pussy. Just rubbing them pussy-cheeks. Slapping me playfully, jiggling them..

"That's a hot fucking pussy, baby girl and that goddamn perfect lil baby girl cunt."

I guess he was just looking at my fucking cunt, cause Daddy sure as fuck wasn't touching it yet, just playing with my pussy-cheeks.

 I proceeded to pound those cakes and blow another load in its petite little boy pussy.

Insolence has its price. In this case it’s a bruised throat and gaping boicunt.

This morning my mind is on emasculation.

Goggle dictionary describes emasculate as: Depriving a man of his role or identity. Synonyms include: effeminate, effete, unmanly. unmasculine, girlish, namby-pamby, sissy, girly, camp, limp wristed, queeny and epicene

Or to make a man weaker or less effective. Synonyms include: weakened, make feeble, debilitate, enfeeble, enervate, dilute, and erode.

Personally I enjoy the idea of being girly and limp wristed. I'm gay, duh. I'm supposed to be a bit campy in my opinion, and maybe that's my generational thinking as I'm soon to be 55. I'm also a pussyboy power bottom. I adore getting fucked, and fucked stupid. You know, walking a bit funny, your pussy is sore from use, it could be difficult to sit. More or less, in some vernacular some would say I'm a faggot. I don't mind that word either but this is coming from a place of my being involved with Queer Nation and ACT UP. I was a big time, very loud activist nationally. I embraced by faggotness.

I didn't and still DON"T want to assimilate. I am not everyone else. I am not the societal norm, by far. I don't see myself as male or female. Possibly non-binary, but I've written on here this idea of being a third gender, and then taking it the step further that I'm just my true sex organ, and that sex organ happens to be my boipussy. That being pussy is my gender. I know it's very unique, different and possibly disturbing idea but I think it wraps up beautifully who I am. 

Submissive, yes. Passive, yes to the point you would think I was June Cleaver. Does my pleasure come from being of use to a dominant, hell yes. Does that pleasure come from being HIS pussy, fuck yes. Put me in thigh highs, chastity and even high heels you bet your life. Call me a girl, yes. Am I a housewife type, you better believe it.... henny I was Martha Stewart before Martha ever hit the scene.

I don't mind emasculation. Hell, I thrive there. But, here lately I see myself with someone like me in a long term committed relationship, loving each other but in an open relationship where we service MEN together and separately but come home to each other for our own fun together. Maybe, somebody younger than me, or just a tiny bit older.... as I've always been the younger "boi" in my long-term relationships.

Does it matter if the bottom cums?

Does it matter if the bottom cums?

Once again I'm compelled to answer something I saw on Twitter in the form of a poll. I feel as if there is something to say. There are a few answers to this question in my opinion.

First, from a truly submissive point of view, and as a bottom, the first answer to this is, ONLY if the tops would want us to. I know that seems a bit vague first reading it, but from a truly submissive point of view, and desiring to totally please our tops with our boypussy or mouth alone, it is our goal is to please them and not ourselves. So if the top wishes us to ejaculate then, and only then, will we take the initiative to do so. For some of us that may mean we want him to do it for us, and for others it would mean asking if we could do it ourselves.

Next, some of us may do so hands free. Yes, it's possible. Some of us dribble it, while others actually shoot a totally hands free load, and some of us may do it while being completely limp. Some of us maybe hard the entire time, others will not get hard at all and either in my opinion is ok. It's a state of mind in my thinking. I'm normally the later, being limp the entire time.

Which brings me to my next point on this topic? I don't get hard because, for me, my entire thought process and being is wrapped up in my using my boypussy to everything it needs to do to bring my top to climax, and hopefully in me. As in a previous post I talked about how I feel it is my job as the pussy to do that every time and the effects and affects it has on me when it doesn't happen. It's not that I'm not enjoying the sex, for I am----but because my boypussy is my primary sex organ not my dick. My dick is an after thought. The affects of that actually causes me and my boypussy to get wet. Yes it does that.

For some tops, I'm going to assume two things: the first they love a limp bottom because they realize that bottom is putting everything he has--- mind, body, soul, spirit and energy--- into his pussy. The flip side of that is the tops that hate it, and think they aren't doing their job right. Honey, you are doing job; your fucking our boypussy but good, we hope, and we all respond differently it is not you trust me on this. Do your job, while we do ours.

Ok, medically speaking: Here's some important information to consider

Despite what you may have heard, edging — deliberately delaying your orgasm — isn’t harmful. This technique is also known as orgasm control. Although it’s more common among people who have a penis, anyone can benefit from it. People who practice edging bring themselves to the brink, or edge, of climax, then back off for several seconds or minutes. You can choose to climax at this point, or you may back off yet again. The number of times you stop an ejaculation is up to you.

The goal is to maintain masturbation or partner sex for a longer period of time. You may also choose to delay your orgasm until your partner is ready to climax. Edging is just one way to make masturbation or partner sex last longer. While not true for everyone, people who have a penis often reach climax more easily than people who don't. In some cases, climax may occur within a few minutes of penetration. For male to male this includes oral and anal. Edging is a way to naturally extend sexual activity. Edging can allow you to exert more control over your own orgasm. This may allow you to prolong solo or partner play, help prevent premature ejaculation, and more. 

However, men who ejaculate often may have a lower risk of prostate cancer than their peers who don’t do it as frequently, a U.S. study suggests. Researchers followed about 32,000 men starting in 1992 when they were in their 20s and continuing through 2010. During this period, almost 4,000 of the men were diagnosed with prostate cancer. Men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month in their 20s were 19 percent less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than men who ejaculated no more than seven times a month, the study found. Men who ejaculated more often in their 40s were 22 percent less likely to get a prostate cancer diagnosis.

“Ejaculation frequency is, to some extent, a measure of overall health status in that men at the very low end of ejaculation – 0 to 3 times per month – were more likely to have other (medical problems) and die prematurely from causes other than prostate cancer,” said lead study author Jennifer Rider, who did the analysis while working at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston. 

Rider went on to say, “While our findings should be confirmed in studies that evaluate the potential biological mechanisms underlying the observed associations, the results of our study suggest that ejaculation and safe sexual activity throughout adulthood could be a beneficial strategy for reducing the risk of prostate cancer." Prostate cancer accounts for 15 percent of all new cancer diagnoses worldwide, the researchers note in the journal European Urology. Established risk factors like age, race and family history are not "modifiable," they add, and there are few lifestyle changes that can be recommended to men to lower risk.

The association between ejaculation frequency and cancer is also strongest for men without symptoms of prostate tumors such as pain or urinary difficulties that are already at low-risk for these malignancies, said Dr. Behfar Ehdaie, a urology specialist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York who wasn’t involved in the study.

“If ejaculation frequency was truly a causal factor for prostate cancer development, we would expect to find the association across all prostate cancer risk categories,” Ehdaie said by email. It’s also too soon to weigh the merits of sex as a tool for cancer prevention, said Siobhan Sutcliffe, a cancer researcher at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis.

Frequent ejaculation through sex or masturbation probably results from other factors that contribute to good health, such as a healthy diet and normal weight, which might also lower the risk of cancer, said Dr. John Gore, a urology researcher at the University of Washington in Seattle who wasn’t involved in the study. “I do not think we need to tell men `if you don’t use it, you lose it,’” Gore said by email. “If lower ejaculation frequency prompts a man to schedule a visit with a primary care provider or specialist, and that visit serves to examine and promote preventive care and wellness, then that would be a successful application of the results of this study.”

Why would a top pull out and come on my back/on my stomach?

I'm pissed. Why would a top pull out and come on my back/on my stomach? I mean, he already fucks me bare...why not fill me pussy up? Or, my mouth. I swallow.

I saw this question on Twitter, in my feed and I knew I wanted to answer this very badly; as I feel many ask this question and at times far too often and many times. As a "fellow bottom" over the decades I've asked my self this question and it always deeply bothers me when it happens. I've always barebacked. It is a rare occasion a condom goes in my pussy, but when it does I get it guys are scared, still forty years later into a disease. I try not to take that personally either, especially in hook up encounters where very little is said about anything.

Personally, even in gay porn, I hate when a top pulls out cums across a guys back or ass, and then tries to shove it back in. It seems a huge waste to me. But porn, I guess it's to easy to fake it, guys want to see the money shot; with all of that said I'd rather see drip out of a guys pussy then anything. But even that seems a waste to me as well. So many of cherish the sperm we get in us, we try to keep it in us as long as possible and I get it. We worked for it, we earned it, it's ours now and we aren't letting go.

For me, personally, my goal, if he is barebacking me, it to do everything in my power to get him to breed and or seed me. It proves to me he enjoyed the fuck, my pussy, and I did everything right to "earn" it. He doesn't do it, then I see it as my fault for not doing something right and I take that "burden" on myself.

The VERY rare occasion I have topped, I make a deposit too. Because I don't want that bottom feeling what I feel. However, I'll do my best here to try to give some answers as to why they may pull out.

Maybe the top likes seeing his load on a guys ass, balls, chest face or wherever that isn't internal.

Maybe he thinks you may not want bred, even if you are barebacking. Believe it or not all bareback bottoms want bred. Many reasons, I'm sure.

Maybe he likes shoving it back in.

Maybe he wants you to swallow it instead. Or a facial.

Or  who knows why.

Maybe we should simply say in the midst of the fuck, "breed me. Don't pull out." Problem solved hopefully, but then again because you said it the top may feel like depriving you of what you want most of all. It seems like a mind game now that I think about it.

For many of us yes we're thankful we get fucked, realize it is up to the top to do what he does and our needs matter little to them; and some of us get off on that as well. However, others of us end up feeling worse then we did before even fantastic sex. For me, and this is just me, I do want want them cumming in me; but I know deep down it's about them, not me or my wants or quite frankly my pussy. They breed me, well, it's just icing on the cake.

Ever run across bugchasers or guys that have a poz fetish?

This question is one I've never been asked before, so this might be a lengthy post, and I truly hope you stick around and read the full answer to that.

I've stated I am about to turn 54 in November. The sixteenth to be exact. The very first news story about HIV/AIDS, as it is called now was May 18th, 1981, while the first clinical AIDS case reported was June 5th, 1981. I was a mere 15 years old. In small town Ohio, population 2,000. What did I know, or for that matter, what did any of us know?

I've never had sex with a woman ever, never kissed one sexually either. I was 18 almost 19 the first time I ever had sex with a man, that was 1985. I knew I was going to bottom, even then I knew it was what I wanted. What I needed. We met at a gay bar. I was a cocktail waiter, he was a stripper. He was also 36. He was gorgeous, I was a naive kid in living for the first time in a big city. He bred me that first time, and every night and most mornings after that for three years. In time we became lovers with an open relationship, that included a former boyfriend of his, a gay bar owner. We became a throuple. They both bred me daily and sometimes more. We used to have small home orgies with friends every weekend. No more than 3 or 4 bottoms, myself included, and about 15 to 20 tops. Needless to say I got bred a lot.

There was no conversation about HIV/AIDS, or as it was called then GRID--- Gay Related Immune Deficiency. It seems we knew so little, took so few precautions and just simply fucked. It was about a good time. Booze, pills, pot, poppers and my pussy flooded. By mid 1986 the bar owner had died and a few friends from the community but life went on. By 1988 my lover died a mere 90 pounds and blind from kaposi sarcoma. His death trigged a cocaine addiction I battled till I was 26.

Moving from one big city to another, didn't stop me. Between the drinking and the cocaine I was at the baths, pussy up 3-4 times a week 10 hour stays each time, no top denied. Many times being to high to remember what or who I did.

I say all of this because now looking back at, even in those earliest days it was unspoken, unacknowledged, unaware fucking. Was I bug chasing, some could say yes, others could say no. I'm not sure. It was never a conversation that happened. Ever. It was the baths we were there to fuck, end of story. By July 16th, 1991 however I was diagnosed HIV positive and a year later it was Full Blown AIDS with six months to live.

However I met the huge love of my life, dried out, got on the right meds and lived through it 29 years later. But those first seven weeks of my life with my husband we went to 47 funerals of gay men with HIV/AIDS. It was fucking hell. And by 2002, when my husband of 10 years died of HIV Complications, I stopped counting the number of dead, at 600 lives.

So, who am I to judge anyone on anything. HIV/AIDS is completely different now, thank god. Lots of meds, normal life spans, life long chronic disease even. There's even prep. But did I make a conscience decision to get it, I honestly don't know. Some think once they get it, noting to worry about. That might not be the case as nobody, anywhere is studying the long term effects of this disease or the drugs. So there will be entire generations behind me living longer than I ever will with it that or left to their own defenses. Talk about fucked up.

True there is one less disease to worry about once your poz, but then it is t-cell counts and viral loads. People still die, even here in the USA of HIV/AIDS every day for various reasons. People are still contracting, and to a degree I can understand it, to another I can't. However, with that said, I can't imagine my life without it. It has literally made me into the man I am today. Kind, compassionate, caring, understanding, empathetic, loving, supportive, a shoulder to cry on and I don't know if I could be all of those things or not without this disease impacting my life, and my own body.

I'm not here to judge anyone, I cant, as they say, "Throw the first stone", as many more stones would come my own way. There are risks, there are complications, and even challenges. Would I do it all over again? I'm not sure about that either. I can't undo what was done. I can only move forward.

My big thing here though, I really want to stress is, if you are undetectable it also means you are UNTRANSMITTABLE! Meaning HIV/AIDS is not given or taken by you whether you top or bottom. Of course strains of HIV/AIDS also carry what medications you can be or not be on, but that bridge can be crossed. There are long time survivors like myself who can share experiences, advice, friendship and yes some of us, not all of us, only "play" with other poz guys. It's called serosorting. Is it right, who knows?

There are times I wish I didn't have AIDS, but I have beat the odds. I've lived. It has been filled with joy and pain, but so is life as a whole. If you're newly diagnosed I'm here for you. If you're a fellow longtime survivor I'm here for you. If your unsure I'm here for you too. It can be scary. It can be daunting. But I'm not about to tell anybody to do, or not do anything. It's between you, and your conscience, or your god, if you believe in one, in the first place.

I could be giving and receiving anal play all morning why change?

"I could be giving and receiving anal play all morning why change? Probably the daddy is going to cum in 10 minutes."

So I tweeted out one of my "infamous" naughty memes that said, “Feel this?... Daddy is controlling your pussy now... get used to it... my cock is going balls deep next”. The "top" was fingering the guys pussy really good.

So there are a few things that come to mind with this "question".

The first is I kind of get this thinking especially with COVID-19 still running rampant here in America. There is so much fear, and it is totally understandable. So many of us are in self-isolation, wearing masks, staying away from strangers. Gay Dating apps and those "lucky" states with open sex clubs for men to men action have come to a complete standstill, as I've heard so many say it.

Next isolation, for some, have given guys time to take the time and explore their bodies, and yes for those of us who do bottom our pussies. I'm sure dildo use has skyrocketed, and that can be seen on platforms like XTube in those earliest weeks of self-isolation when solo vids skyrocketed. Many of us I'm sure are experiencing self induced prostate orgasms and a richer, and fuller sex life to some degree. At least as much as a dildo can bring. Which brings me to my next point. Many of us too have taken this time to use our dildo's to keep ourselves "ready" for our next roll in the sheets, or to even expand upon our skills, our techniques or other "worthwhile" venues to being a "good bottom"

The connection with another man. There is something to be said about being in the arms of another man, or being on all fours your boy pussy in the air getting reamed out. There is actual submission to someone else, that you can not get from a dildo, even if it is attached to a fuck machine. A good Daddy responds to his pussyboy, his actions, his words, and his movements. A good Daddy can feel the hunger, the urge, the drive that needs to be feed and while his focus is on his pleasure, there is to some degree focus on pleasing his boy. Both are satisfied. Does it always happen, no. But when it does it is simply amazing.

The other aspect of this is this idea that besides the actual physical act of the fuck, their is the submission, the obedience, the being of service to the Daddy that is so much more than the physical act. For many of us, myself included here, this is where the true joy and fulfillment come from. Yes the sex can be amazing but many of us desire the idea of the being truly submissive to the men we have sex with, and even love; while there is a difference between just sex and love and the submission is different between the random hookup and the man you end up marrying.

This idea of "timeframe", lasting just ten minutes" applies here, and for some of us ten minutes might be enough, while others ten minutes with ten guys is more of our speed. There is this idea of gratitude for what we do get, and that applies here. What could we do to help "lengthen" that time frame? What are we bringing to the "table". What is it that isn't getting fulfilled and how do we do that? Fear of this conversation with the man or men we have sex with might seem daunting, but I truly think it is one we need to have, and possibly on a regular basis; so everybody ends up with a happy sex life

At least for me is that the question seems to invoke a sense of doom and gloom, loss of hope, a sense of never finding true love or even a top who can satisfy one's needs. This is, of course for me, a sad state of affairs. Even if your top is a pump and dump and go, at least you're getting something or you wouldn't be doing it. If you've been emotionally hurt by a man I am sorry that happened to you and you didn't deserve that as no one day, but not all men are the same.

My Grandmother used to say, "Fall of the horse you need to get back on". Simply saying keep trying. Whether it's true love that leads to marriage or just a random bath house hookup, find your man, go pussy up and hang on for the ride of your life.

There is also this sense that there maybe a dildo buddy he plays with, and this in itself is a whole other scenario. Which can and does work for many men who have sex with men. Frankly, if this is the case I'm a bit jealous as I don't have that. Is it something I want? Yes. Why because it still involves another man, it involves my submitting, my obeying, my being of service, and it does involve my pussy being used and when it's his turn I'm still being of service, being submissive by giving him what he wants, and my obeying him and the needs of his pussy. It also offers me the chance to pay attention to his body language and unspoken cues; and we both end up with happy boy pussies. If this is truly the case, in my mind the only thing you might miss is his cumming in you, if that is part of what you crave. however there are ways to even do that. Rub the toy with his cum and put in yourself. Bingo, both things accomplished.