I was asked this question today, again on Twitter, this time about the language, or terms, or even the dichotomy of terms we use to describe men who bottom sexually: meaning they get fucked-- point blank. I believe there are difference in terms, slight as they may be-- or as vast they maybe depending one's personally journey into that term, thinking and understanding. What is so uniquely wonderful, in my opinion is is each of our journeys is so vastly different. That there is no right way, or wrong way; just OUR way and that is perfectly fine as no one knows you better than you, just saying, henny!
Will start super simple, and work our way up. I also know, that I might not be able to cover every term out there, but I'll do they ones I think that are common.
Bottom- a man who gets fucked in the ass by other men. Period. Can be gay, can be bisexual, can be on the down low, can be straight, can be curious-- as long as he is a man getting fucked, he's a bottom. At least occasionally especially if he is versatile, which is a whole other post into itself.
Picky Bottom- just that. Very picky about who, why, when, where, how they get fucked. Standards at times can be way too high and if this happens NO tops meet the requirements they have. Most have very strict rules about getting fucked and they ARE to be followed... or else no boi pussy for you.
Whore, Slut, Tramp- any bottom who is easy to fuck. Maybe too easy too, or at least regarded that way. The words here are interchangeable for me. It can also mean that he sleeps around a lot, with a lot of men. May have little to no standards of who, when, where, how or even why... just bend over and take it.
The issue here is societal shaming even within our own gay community about being any one of these things, let alone a bottom. There is a whole post on bottom shaming on this blog--- if you'd like to read more on the topic. But, when it comes to shaming. Oh HELL NO! Not today Satan! Not today! Who are you to tell me what is or is not too much sex? Seriously, the sex police. I think not. Our sexual needs are our own. If I choose to sleep 1,095 men a year, or three a day that's my own damn business and not yours! If you're judging me, you're probably some frigid bitch not getting DICK!
Power bottom- is a term that gets thrown around a lot by people in our community, yet few truly understand what this phrase really means. Well, I’m here to give you the definition so that you have the lingo right. If you are a true power bottom, you are gay man who has a huge appetite for being penetrated by another guy (or guys). You can last for extended periods of time without having to take breaks.
Power bottoms tend to last longer in the sack when the top is confident during intense jack-hammering (read between the lines). Power bottoms are ready to take it day or night and commonly like to skip a lot of foreplay and get right down to the business of being fucked.
Let’s first dispense with some of the common myths that are often associated with being a power bottom. While I can’t list them all, here are some of the biggies.
Power bottoms are:
Effeminate: A lot of people seem to think that guys who power bottom are “queens” or “big girls”. That’s totally false. I would argue that guys who mostly or exclusively bottom are perhaps some of the most masculine guys on the planet. This myth can be traced to harmful stereotypes about gay men – pure and simple. However, if you are like me I am effeminate and I have no shame in being so. You'll hear me say during sex, "fuck my pussy". If your effeminate embrace it and celebrate it there is nothing wrong in being a " big girl".
Selfish: I’ve had friends say that power bottoms are big time selfish whores. This one is BS too. That’s because being a power bottom isn’t so much about the activity but instead, about the mindset. Just because we like to bend over doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t top. It does mean that we prefer to ride a guy and doing so for long periods of time. This one is also can be a positive attribute in my opinion, as I am selfish: meaning I want all the tops for myself, and there's nothing there either.
Pain: Perhaps the worst stereotype associated with this bit of lingo relates to physical pain. For some stupid reason, a lot of gay tops have it in their mind that power bottoms don’t feel pain. I’m here to tell you that’s total B.S. because we do. It DOES hurt if you just jam it in or suddenly yank it out. Nothing pisses me off more than a top thinking he can do whatever he wants to me because the guy thinks I’m impervious to pain, you know? And I hate to break it to you, but not all of us are hooked on crystal meth, causing us to get “tina dick”. I don’t know if that myth came from videos or an urban legend but it’s crap.
Submissive: Continuing on with the stereotypes, power bottoms can be submissive but that doesn’t mean they are totally submissive. Sure, I suppose if you hypnotize one of us, we could turn into some freakish zombie bottom but in the real world, that’s not been my experience. Some of us are very "take charge" kind of guys as we know how we like to get fucked, and we'll do anything to get it that way, even if we do have to take charge.
Slutty: Finally, not all guys who are power bottoms are slutty. I hate when gay men think this but apparently, many do. Remember, it’s not about the number of guys we can take but instead, our ability to be ready and last for the long term. If you are a slut like me, embrace it, celebrate it and let no one shame you in being one. Be the biggest slut you can be,
To be this type of bottom, it means you have personal POWER. Here, I am talking about a high degree of self-esteem and self-worth. Not the other way around.
Power Bottom Truths
As mentioned earlier, a gay man who identifies as a power bottom has adopted a mindset. This way of thinking takes years to develop and has nothing to do with the top’s size or girth.
Instead, it’s about the tops ability to jump into action at a moment’s notice, allowing someone like me to be equally ready.
This means we’ve educated ourselves about digestive health, allowing us to do our thing without worry.
What really pisses me off is running into guys on hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff who claim they are power bottoms when they simply aren’t.
Just because you rode a guy for 20 minutes doesn’t entitle you to claim the label. And so what if you can sit on a giant toy! That doesn’t mean you are one either!
So gay men everywhere, please, for the love of all that is good, please stop calling yourself a power bottom when you aren’t.
This is a very special title and should be reserved for gay men who have put in years of effort while educating themselves on how to be masters of their craft.
Similar in some regards to a bottom, but a specific variety of bottom... like the rest of bottom terms. A power bottom tends to be the one in charge, and feels most powerful when the are getting fucked. He enjoys maintaining control over penetration. The bottom is on the throne, so to speak, "taking the Top". Leaves no question about who fucked whom. The result with many disappointing "stellar tops" who may not know how to rim or like to rim, or won't rim, couldn't find your prostrate with eleven fingers, and high resolution maps of my pussy; and either cum or pass out from exhaustion after three to five minutes of fucking. Power bottoms are in my opinion: supposedly have skilled tongues, creative, honest supremely confident and themselves as a bottom, and hands on individual leadership abilities.
Cum Dump- Related terms are cum dumpster, cum whore, cum guzzler, cum bucket. Can be a very affectionate term of endearment by the right guy. Within the gay community often used to describe a very constantly horny, bottom gay guy who is used by men for his body and nothing else. He is just the vessel in which men deposit their semen when they are getting fucked they LIVE for the cream pie ie: being bred, getting pregnant, white washing the walls all terms for taking his cum in your pussy.
This term can be used frequently within the bareback (unsafe rectal sex) community as it requires condom-less sex. The term went out of fashion for a period of time during the height of the AIDS epidemic, but with the advancement of PREP, medications to prevent HIV/AIDS, the term has come back bigger than ever. Cum dumps can be found easily at orgies, bath houses or gay sex clubs, hook up apps and infrequently at gay bars. I WILL not advocate for or against doing this in real life, that is your decision. Your an adult. And I'm not your Daddy, your lover, or your husband.
Faggot- from what little of the term, as I understand it... and I could be wrong... is someone who has absolutely no limits when it comes to sex. Degrading.... yes. Humiliating... yes. Lick a "scuzzy" looking toilet bowl yes. Pissed on... yes. You get the idea. The more you do to this guy the more he loves it, thrives in it and enjoys it. A combination of all the other terms thrown in for this guy, plus terms I may have forgotten. Years ago during the Queer Nation Movement the term also gave us power in ways we never had it before. Hence the name of this blog. I'm gay. I have sex with men... actually a lot of it. With any man wanting to fuck me. I'm the one getting it up the ass; but by god I enjoy it and want it. No apologies. In your face... fuck your attitude.
Pussyboy- Finally, my favorite term of all time! You know this if you follow me on Twitter at all. I Tweet about being pussy all the time.
Go read my other posts about being a pussyboy before reading this one, as I think it will make more sense that way, because I've grown into my acceptance so much since those posts.
I've written about it extensively on here what I want to do with this post is state what I learned. I met a guy very close to where I live.. not saying where, or who, or how we met--- but I arrived at his door and he was stark naked, gorgeous. HUGE cock!
I got naked and for the next three HOURS it was nonstop ass play. He fucked me stupid with his eight inch, raw cock. He used big toys on me. But the most action my pussy got was his HANDS! They were magic. I felt things I've never felt before. My headspace was, "He's using me like the pussy I want to be. He fully gets me without my saying a single word." He nearly worked his fist in me... about two inches more and the widest part of his hand WOULD have been in my cunt.
The nicest part of this whole experience as much as he was the BEST TOP I've ever had, he also cemented in my head I love being the "Daddy" playing in his boy's pussy as well; for as much as he gave... he also took. Now, I'm not saying he's pussy, because he never said anything remotely connected to being a pussyboy. I worked his ass just as good as he did mine. But the idea of being a Daddy who loves playing in pussy as much or even more so having mine played with.... and I love it a lot... I enjoy playing in another's pussy just as much. It doesn't make any less pussy myself.
The absolute HOTTEST thing we did, was both of us using a double headed dildo at the same time, both of us on our backs. It was so INSANELY hot! First time ever for me doing it, and I would do again with out a doubt!
I didn't say "pussy" as much as I wanted too in my dialogue with him as I wasn't completely sure if he was into my saying it or not... but my mind was screaming it at the top of my lungs a million times over... that's how I knew I had been fully, unapologetically cunted and my pussy and my mind knew it!
With all of this said about terms, and ideas I think we can should be a mix of our unique design. We can be all of these things... in more ways than one especially when we need to be that "term". It's just a label, and WE are just males who happen to get fucked my men.
