Four types of bois

Men: so you're fucking a bottom and you're wondering whether he's the kind of boy who can easily be turned into a submissive bitch? There's an easy way to tell. If he doesn't touch his own junk at all without needing to be told not to, he's already got a strong submissive streak. Turning him into your own personal toy and bitch boy will be easy.

Some of these naturally submissive bois will wait until you cum before turning their attention to themselves and their clitties; while others will ask for permission to do that. Which I think should be the norm as it it your tops pleasure you are seeking in the first place and not your own so therefore you never touch your clitty. Yet others may just get dressed, knowing that your load in their pussy is all they need and they leave. Adding their own load would seriously distract from the most important thing to them in this moment and that is once again YOUR pleasure, not theirs.  The only thing that truly matter to them was getting bred, for in you breeding them was their signal that they were truly good pussy that did it's job.

You can usually tell any of these bois that they DON'T have your permission to ejaculate and they will most likely obey without protests. Personally here I think they had their chance of doing that hands free while you were coring out their cunt, and hammering their princess spot/slut button. However, next time you do decide to fuck them. surprise them with a chastity cage and they'll very easily could be all yours--- as for many it is the happiest day of their lives.

There's a second group of bois who will attempt to pleasure themselves while you hammer away at their pussy but will quickly and obediently oblige when you make it clear you don't want them too. They may or may not have a natural submissive streak. It may or may not be as strong as in the first group of bois, or not as quite as developed yet. Either way, these bois can easily be turned into submissive bitch bois with the proper training by you. 

The third group of bois are those who keep reaching for their dicks and will get themselves off without asking permission and could care less what you said, or want from them, even though you've explicitly said they were not allowed. First of all these bois need a bare pussy, over the knee spanking! These bois ca be the hardest to train into a submissive bitch boi, because they may not see themselves that way at all. They may not see themselves as having a pussy, and if that is the case they more than likely may not see their pussy as their only source of pleasure. But when did you ever shy away from a challenge, Daddy? For some Daddy's breaking these defiant bois own will for independence and attachment to their pleasure is the greatest joy of all.

Lastly, is the group of boi's who see themselves as girls; meaning they use all feminine terms for all of their sexual parts as I have discussed here before: pussy, princess spot/slut button for prostrate, testicles become ovaries and of course clitty, nubbin or dicklet. They fully know, accept and celebrate the fact that they have a pussy, that their main pleasure comes from being pussy from men, are beyond thrilled when bred, may dream of becoming pregnant and the only real pleasure they want is their pussy-gasms/prostate orgasms because it means Daddy is really enjoying your pussy then. We may develop an internal liquid with sexual use, for some it turns into a frothy mix, we've all seen in porn and for some of us we enjoy the pussy stretch more than anything so we can be prone to big dildo's or even fisting. As long as pussy is in use we are at our happiest. Daddy's pleasure is our only pleasure, period end of story. We may even call ourselves girls, like I do.

I'll brazenly admit this is the group I'm in. I'm also the type that craves to be "Daddy's good girl", for Daddy to buy me lingerie, thigh highs, garters, lacy crotchless panties, bras, corsets. Maybe a cute skirt with my dress shirt and a cardigan, blurring the line but a clear biological "boi". Think Harry Styles here, or Jayden Smith or even Billy Porter as examples of what I'm trying to say here.

For Daddy's with a girl--- my best advice is marry her! Immediately!

Interview with: @abayoujock of Twitter

I want to explain a little what led to this interview, if I may. @ABayou is on Twitter and as I follower I LOVE his content big time, and the biggest reason I do is he, like myself, is in his fifties does chastity and is a bottom. @ABayou is more fit than I am at this moment, as I have a small tummy, but he is what I aspire to be. He breaks the "glass ceiling" that we as the LGBATQIA+ community have with aging, ageism and the celebratory nature we have with youth and the Peter Pan syndrome. Besides, he is in my opinion scorching hot. The interview was done back in June and unfortunately things here for me took a turn as my husband of 18 years health took a dramatic turn for the worse even though we had been in hospice since October 2020. It was round the clock care all of July 2021 until he died July 29th. Grief and life after that lose somehow passed and this interview sat on the back burner.

For that I am deeply sorry to @ABayou and my readers here, as well as to my Twitter followers. I know this blog has suffered since July of 2021 but I'm slowly getting back to a mindset to work on this more so, as I feel it is SO important to have these conversations.

PB: I was wondering if you would be interested in doing an interview for my blog?

ABayou: I'm a 53 yr old exhibitionist. Comment or retweet, but I’m partnered, and I’m not looking for sex, meeting anyone, hookups, trading pics, etc. Namaste. 

To see @ABayou in action click here

https://twitter.com/abayoujock/status/1446265844393254917

PB: The blog is written by me a pussyboy and like you I'm in my 50's. I turn 55 in November. Part of what I'd like to talk about in the interview if you say yes is agesim, how bois can be any age, what led you to do what you do on Twitter and why? I was wondering if you would consider a DM interview for my blog. The focus of which is being on chastity and being an older pussyboy. 

ABayou: I’m intrigued, but I’m doubtful I could contribute much. I’m kinda not absolutely sure why I do this or what necessarily led me to do it. In my everyday life I’m quiet, reserved and introspective. I’m partnered, and my partner doesn’t really know I do this or at least to this extent. That’s bad I know. Anyway, what to you think? 

It could be an interesting talk, you might not know why you do chastity, I'm on the verge of doing it myself; but you certainly bring to the conversation of why you serve, how that may or may not vary with the situation your in if your even comfortable talking about it. I was just drawn to you, honestly, because I REALLY like what I saw and that you were doing what you did with such a positive spin on it, especially when this conversation is so youth driven. 

I get it. I’m not sure how this would work. I don’t always know when I can respond to messages.

PB: I love your pictures so very much.

ABayou: Thank you.

PB: Anytime. So we could do the interview whenever you are online. I just one over a couple of days at their convenience. My first question is what drew you to chastity?

ABayou: I've always been aroused by humiliation fantasies, and for me being caged in a small cock cage is humiliating. Also I tend to edge a lot which I believe was excessive, and now I'm unable to do that. At least I can't stroke my hard dick all the time.

PB: So instead of excessive masturbation do you find that o are using your "pussy" more, or do you even use that term. I know some that do and others who do not.

ABayou: I don't use that (term), but I am trying to focus more there.

PB: So as far as terms go, do you then just use the standard "Hole" instead? DO you find that wearing chastity "helps" you focus more there?

ABayou: I think I prefer "hole", and yes it does I think.

PB:  Has the excessive masturbation been replaced by "excessive" dildo use or are you still working up to that <giggle>? Inquiring  minds you know.

Abayou: I'm working up to that I would say. I've certainly have done more than at other times in the past.

PB: Do you have a n end goal you want to reach when it comes to dildo use, or is that something you've even thought about?

ABayou: I want my hole stretched so that I feel more comfortable with a dick going in. Haha. I'm too tight right now. Maybe a fist. Haha.

PB: I've noticed in some of your pictures you do wear a plug. Do you think it helps? And iis it fair size? Once again inquiring minds want to know these things. But I can relate to wanting to be stretched out. I bought awhile back the Fort Troff Ass Grommet set. I've worn the meduim sized one over night as I've slept with it in a few times.

ABayou: The plugs I've been wearing aren't large in my opinion, and so far I've only wore then as long as four hours or so. I do think it helps.

PB: Are you wanting to increase the size of them?

ABayou: Not particularly. I don't want to insanely large. My partners dick isn't that big that I would need to.

PB: I didn't want. to imply insanely large, but bigger. I guess it comes from this place from seeing original content makers (Twitter & porn sites) who grow or stretch their holes bigger.

ABayou: But he may want to try fisting so there is that.

PB: Are you open to fisting? No pun intended.

ABayou: I think so, but like. I said it will take work to get there. Haha.

PB: I ask this as this year I've seriously taken steps to try to be fisted (as the bottom), although I've fisted as the "top" for decades. The work though to taking a fist is half the fun though.

ABayou: I imagine so.

PB: Do you find that. a lot of gay porn comes across as ageist, and if so how do we fix that? 

Abayou: I honestly don't watch porn, and I never have. I thought there was all kinds of porn. Daddies and all.

PB: Do you feel the same way when it comes to views on bottoms (which can be so negative at times)? That there may be just a point where it is or doesn't happen anymore.

ABayou: I think so. In theory we should be getting more enlightened, I would hope. Being a bottom shouldn't be considered less than a top. There all kinds of tops and bottoms out there.

PB: That's very true; last year during the height of isolation for me was very eye opening. The term pussyboy, having/producing boypussy orgasms, and producing this "pussy liquid/froth with dildo use. It was a huge turning point for me, but I wish I had known about this years before.

ABayou: Good deal.

PB:Do you think that most gay men only think of pussyboys as younger guys, then guys like us (who happen. to be older) and if so how do we change that?

ABayou: Just keep putting ourselves out there. I don't know if pussyboys are only thought of as young. It's not like as you get older you become more of a top or something. Haha. Or less of a pussyboy bottom bitch.

PB: I find the older I get the more of a pussyboy bottom bitch I become. I believe you said at one point in a tweet that your hubby doesn't know "everything your doing/or involved in." Can you explain better, if your comfortable doing so, why this is?

ABayou: I just don't know how to communicate this (to him). He doesn't know I tweet all of this. I'm not sure how he would react.

PB: Wow! Is it fear he won't understand?

ABayou: Yes. He does have an inkling of it.

PB: You read my mind.

ABayou: I feel like it is such a of me. I guess compulsive though too.

PB: Are you a bit surprised so many love your content so much?

ABayou: Yes, for sure! I'm happy people get enjoyment from it. I'm sorry I really can't do some things because of personal situation.

PB: I do understand that, and your privacy. The struggle is very real, and it's where I am too with someone who would NEVER get any of it.

        NOTE: This interview was done in June when my husband of eighteen years was still alive. Sadly he died July 29, 2021. I now know he understood a lot more then I thought he did. A lot more actually, and that may or may not end up as a seperate blog post at some point.

ABayou: I worry he'll find out about it, and be embarrassed about it. Like his friends seeing me doing that stuff.

PB: That could be very rough, and especially if it's used against you. So how do you handle or cope with these feelings?

ABayou: I try not to think abut it,  haha. That's helpful, right? I used to suffer from social phobia. It occurred in my late teens and through my twenties. I would never leave my bedroom, and I suffered from depression too, as a result. I slowly pulled myself out of that hole, and I think my internet exhibitionism was part of that.

PB: I bet it was. That's how I was during COVID-19 isolation/lockdown for four months, of never leaving my bedroom let alone the house. Mentally I was in a very horrible place as well.

ABayou: I think that experience in my past prepared me for the pandemic lockdown. I didn't mind it, of course I had my partner here.

PB: I did too, but lockdown compounded our differences and our fights.

        NOTE: Looking back at that time now (that being October 2021) the majority of our fights were over stupid stuff, like a lot of couples fight about. Ours was compounded as I noticed my hubby's health even then getting slowly worse. It was very hard to watch, let alone deal with and I think that added to the stress and made things the way they were.

ABayou: Oh. Not good. Sorry.

PB: Thank you. Does your hubby know about the lace panties?

ABayou: I don't know to be honest.

PB: If he does know is he the type not to say anything?

ABayou: Right.

PB: Mine doesn't know I have lace panties, and he would probably hate it. Mine are assless though <lol>. He'd also HATE that I call my hole a pussy too, to be honest with you.

ABayou: Haha, I get it.

I want to take the time and that @ABayou for his time and for letting ME pick the photos from his feed to use for this interview. I also want to apologize to him for the delay in getting this posted, but I'm hopeful he'll understand. I hope you all gained something from this as well. 

Interview: Achilles & Patroclus/@APatroclus on Twitter

@APatroclus was a lil concerned with his grammar and spelling when I approached him, but personally that is part of his charm and wit. 

My first question is you talk about the marines in your tweets are you active duty, reserves, or is there something else I'm not aware of as I've never been in the military?

I'm active duty... 10 years in the Marine Corps...enlisted.

It seems from your tweets that being a Marine plays a big part into your sex life, or how you view your sex life. If that's correct, how does that impact it, or make it different? Will that idea still be relevant when you leave the Marines?

yeah yer def right...Marines is a brotherhood of warriors... we're body proud... proud of our cocks & how many chicks we fuck... there's a lot of homo sex kinda 'built in' to being a Marine... like we don't being naked around each other or jacking off...when we deploy we'll jack each other off sometimes or even give each other blow jobs... some of us are really into assfucking... andit's just part of the warrior brotherhood to show yet dominance over another dude by fucking yer in his ass and making him like it, like even pop a fuckin boner and cum from u fucking him... and we like being dominated like that by a bro... that's why its almost  like a joke that Marines like getting fuckd... but its gotta be by a real man not some faggoty type dude.

Based on that last part of your comment about "faggoty type dudes" do you think getting rid of the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy changed how the Marines are? Or possibly how these type of guys, which I am the "faggoty" type are seen?

Yeah i think it changed it... was hotter when u had to sneak around... everybody knowed about it... knew who the cocksuckers were... who liked fucking dudes... all that... now its like less masculin' somehow... like they ain't even gotta pretend they in 2 chicks or nothing... was hotter when we'd fukin' go out & flirt maybe fuck sum chicks then go back 2gether & fuck each other.

Your tweets seem to reflect what you just said here. Som my question is do you see yourself as more bisexual than gay? I know it's not such an usual thing in some circles, but in others, I think there is still this attitude of pick a side? Or do you see that as a non-issue?

I don't really like them labels but yeah, def bi. U like pussy and I like cock. To me it's just bein' fuckin' Man.. usin' my cock on whoever the fuck turns me on. And with hot duded I like getting cock in my pussy too. And yea I feel like I ain't gotta 'pick a side' cuz I ain't into bein' sum fuckin' community or whatever. I like fuckin', figthing, and workin' out... and generally raisin' hell <haha>... Turns off a lot of Marines who like homofuckin' to say yet gat cuz we don't wanna be aprt of sum political shit or wtf... Just wanna fuck and have fun u know. Hope I ain't pissin' u off bro. Got sum typos in there hahaha.. u probly can figure em out tho...yer smarter than me 4 sure.

Oh, you aren't pissing me off at all. Everybody has a very unique journey that them, then you know, thank god we all aren't the same, you know. How fucking boring would that be? I asked for the interview because I love the tweets you send out, and the biggest reason being is you are among one of the most masculine guys around who call your asshole, pussy. Which brings me to my next question. How did that realization, if you will, that you have a 'pussy' come about?

Thanks man! thats awesome... about being unique and all.. and glad u like my tweets. Well for me it started cuz my daddy, I mean my my real daddy Jake.. he was fucked when he was a kid, like 11 or 12.

Your father was fucked at 11 or 12?

Anyway, he liked it... so did his 1/2 brother my uncle Randy.. he got fucked too by the same step dad but was even younger... I think thats when the started talkin' 'bout their fuck hole as their pussy.

That had to been years ago right?

So when i started gettin' horny as a young duded, like 11 or so... Jake was the 1st on to fuck me... told me he was gonna give me a man's pussy... said thats how dudes talk & i should get used to it.. just be real open 'bout wut i wanted and all that... lie dont say 'lets go to bed' or shit like that but 'i want yer cock... or i wanna get fucked in my pussy'... and since he talked that way 'bout himself me and Troy was the same way... besides i mean it feels real good getting cock in yer ass & makes u cum, so its kinda like a pussy on a man.

Well... I'm 28 and Jake was 13 when he knocked our mama up with us... so yeah, it's been a few years.

This is a great story angle here because it's the very masculine side of being pussy versus this very feminine or sissy side--- which can be just as nice, if that's your thing-- but the "butch" side is seems it is so rarely seen.

i guess... i seen it a lot in the Marine Corps... ev'ry swingin' dick around here is alpha as fuck when we're in public or whaev'r... but just 2 or 3 of us alone wantin' to fuck or get fucked, we just say it like it was normal, 'good fucking pussy bro' and shit like that.

So more of a compliment or attitude than a frame of mind right? Not necessarily, possibly, being a pussyboi. Or is that wrong?

yeah, it ain't a insult or nothin'... just like, if the dude is hot, u wanna fuck his hole... so its pusst.. means you wanna fuck him... dont mean he like a girl or nothin'... just hot to fuck.

I love this attitude, because for some being a pussyboi is that we view our pussied as our only true sex organ, & I'm sure you are aware of that too. Then there is this whole set of us that get off on chastity cages, or say wearing lingerie, or see ourselves as girlboi's and to hear you say that wanting to fuck a guys hole makes his hole pussy is something I've felt for awhile now. If you're getting fucked, admit it or not you're being HIS pussy.

fuckin' A!! Xactly... Marines is real good at syin' things like they are... i don't  get in2 chastity or like not havin' a dick, fuck no! we all love cock, 'specialy our own & wanna use it, get off & all that shit... wanna fuck a dude cuz he's a man, i want him 2 have a ock i can play with or suck but i also wanna fuck him in his pussy & get my own dick off too... i think thats why men is made they way they are, feel that pleazure in our pussy & cock both.

There's this whole denial of pussyboi's not allowed to see or use our cocks, to focus on being a true submissive and fully focus on being pussy for MEN. Dominates like you, to fuck our cunts stupid. Add to this, this idea of calling our cocks...clits. I get off on all of that, as a pussyboy. I love being railed up the pussy and just having my dick flop about. If the top/Dom?Daddy wants to touch my dick he can, as in that moment I'm his. 

What do you think about this side of the more submissive or even, some might term is. faggy side of bottom guys?

No offense, about fag and faggy... just the way we talk.

But yeah, i ain't too good not to fuck a faggy boy... done that with sum Sailors & even sum Marines... in the air wing tho not the infantry hahaha... i mean its good pussy & its fun to get rough on a dude who gets off on it... but mainly with them type of duded i just wanna get my cock off, not as in2 the bitch as i would be if he was a dude like me.

Oh no offense taken at all. Being a 'fag', or at least sexually speaking is a whole other mind set. I'm approaching 55, and in my 20's so many of us reclaimed those words, and in power; and especially with activist groups like Queer Nation and ACT UP.

You might be surprised by the things I call myself Daddy Achilles <giggle>.

hahaha maybe... i done heard a lot tho.. even tho i'm only 28.

You might even know some I don't. <lol>

What I find so encouraging is your generation doesn't seem to have as many hangups as mine did, and in many ways things are far easier; like coming out, the internet for looking up gay content, gay hook up apps and the like.

yeah... i don't know 2 many dudes with hang ups... its like if it feels good go with it... got a lot of Marines to try to getting fuck'd for the 1st time... showed em how to get ready like I was taught by Jake... took it slow made sure they cum... helps havin' a good lookin' face & jack'e body... at least i'm told i'm good lookin'.

I'm sure you're VERY good looking, besides the uniform helps too. Who in their right ever loving mind can resist a man in uniform. Lord knows I NEVER could. I was/am my own personal USO providing pussy for every damn branch including the Coast Guard <lol>.

But I'm sure guys like you like bois like me.

fuck thanks man!! fuck, i'd have u swingin' off my cock if u was here... I like doin' this intervu with u ... its fun.

Oh I'd definitely be swinging off it, for damn sure. Could we talk a lil about Twitter, the company and censorship? I saw your feed three Twitter ID's ago. As I've been suspended twice now fro tweeting about being pussy for men. Is this partially why you misspell and censor yourself?

Yeah. I've been suspended three times for using cunt in replies and shit. It's all bots doin' the censoring so I gotta be careful it don't like I'm callin' somebody a cunt or a pussy. Plus I can't spell for shit. hahha.

Maybe that's part of the appeal too, this himbo thinking you know. The only time Twitter sent an email that made ANY sense at all was that I was misgndering people. Which I took as calling bois pussy <lol>. 

Here's the funny thing though, even Adam4Adam took it on themselves to censor the word 'pussyboi' in my bio <lol>.

So fuckin' uptight about way dudes really talk! Fuck! Only thing I don't like about Twatter.

Me too, I hate it at times. And the one place we can talk the way we do was bdsmlr, but now you can't see what you're following unless you book marked the page.

So what lead you to create your "boypussy" videos?

I like to fuck with loud music blastin' and did that once when I watchin' some porn. Thought it was hot and figured out how to use movie maker and just been  having fun.

I love your videos so very much, and I think there is a real niche for them. It seems so few in gay porn will say things like , "fuck my pussy". Besides I love a GREAT top that fucks to the rhythm  of porn or music.

Fuck yeah!! Thanks bro! That makes me feel real good. Love that. Gonna keep makin' 'em. Appreciate you.

My next question is Troy-boy; is he your real brother, your marine 'brother', or is he a 'created family' type of brother that so may of us do in the gay community?

no, me and Troy is fraternal twins, same mama, same daddy. Just so u know... I'm runnin' outa time here... will. be packing in a couple of hours & then gone for a couple of three weeks.

Ok. Thank you so very much for your time. I appreciate it so much. Safe travels my friend, hopefully you get some boypussy while your gone.

I really want to take the time and deeply thank @APatroclus for his time over the course of a couple of days to do this interview. Words can not begin to express how very much it means to me. I hope all of you enjoyed this interview and if you are not following @Apatroclus, what are you waiting for?!

AGGRESSION

Today's post is all about aggression. I wanted to do this theme today because it seemed to fit the overall theme all week here. I also wanted to share some famous quotes that I personally enjoy about aggression:

Men must be aggressive for what is right... Robert M. La Follette, Sr.

I want to state categorically that force will be met with force and aggression... Lal Bahadur Shastri

You can play hard. You can play aggressive. You can give 120% but if one guy is out of position then someone is running... Bill Belichick

In the land of "I know," there is always competitiveness, jealousy, pretense, pride and arrogance. It is an aggressive realm - the realm of the ego. I say refuse citizenship. In the land of "I don't know," the inhabitants move without conflict and are naturally quiet, happy and peaceful. The wise stay here... Mooji

We are only just beginning to understand the power of love because we are just beginning to understand the weakness of force and aggression... B.F. Skinner 

Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose... Bette Davis

In my opinion, there is a big difference between FORCE and aggression. Force is just that, and in my thinking, it is not necessarily you want to do all the way to and including rape and even beyond; and while "rape scenes" seem predominant in gay erotica from novels to gay porn films, chile, it ain't cute. Speaking as a rape victim from a Hate Crime situation now thirty-four years later, there are still, even today, moments where it floods my dreams and I wake in a cold sweat, sick to my stomach.

Aggression on the other hand, just my opinion, can be and should be consensual--- and yes up to, and once again including rape. But for the post today, I really want to focus on consensual and participatory.

Aggression can be as simple as verbal-- the something spoken, or the way someone looks at you; most of us know that look because our mothers gave it to us. To tied up, tied down, spanking, a slap, spitting--- you name it and it could more than likely fit.

The key is I feel is open, honest dialogue one what each other expects, needs and wants; as well as what they won't put up with or tolerate. We all have our limits. But we also have room to explore, fantasize and even delve into. There is always room for growth.

Twitter and It's Censorship: My experience

 

As most of you may know my old Twitter account @BBbttmwhore53 was deleted by Twitter about two maybe three weeks ago with no warning or notice. The account got suspended first for some apparent violation of Twitter rules again no notice, warning or clear explanation of why or which tweet did it.

At the time of suspension I emailed them demanding a clear and better understanding of what happened and an opportunity to fix it. The initial e-mail explained nothing and was very vague to say the least. I did the email late at night hoping for clarification, and woke to the account being deleted with a lil over 15,000 followers GONE! GONE!

Thank god I had a small backup account and I'm starting over about the sheer joy of being boi-pussy and a pussy-boi as before with the old account. Although, the last few weeks I just refer to us as pussy and for me there is a slight difference. Nothing more, for in my opinion as a pussy-boi, I am nothing in any way, shape or form but my pussy. That I'm just the life support "machine" that makes my pussy possible. For my pussy (who by the way is a she--- meaning I see my pussy as feminine) is who and what I am fully. And if I can't use it to service men than I am NOTHING.

I tweet the way I do because I am pussy. I have been since my first time in 1985 to today. 36 years of being pussy for men, even before the word was in vogue. Back in my day it was power bottom, and I was that too, hundreds and hundreds of MEN. For I discovered bath houses at 19 and truly became a cum-dump. At 54 years old now, the experience has changed slightly, as I'm not porn-star material in looks by any means. More the guy next door, if you will. I don't go to the gym. But I am on the slim side. But my age I think stands in the way as so many see me as too old. But that seems to be the case in overall gay society even though over 60% of us who are gay are over 50.

I tweet my experiences , my fantasies, my wishes, my desires, my goals and my life. I do it in a positive way. I try to be uplifting, celebratory, empowering and enlightening. I know it's, a lot but it's what I was doing before with the old account as well., and so many of you resonated with it. There should be no shame in being the bottom guy or even the pussy-boi or even the brutish top. The whole thing is just nonsense.

And that in itself could be why I was deleted, or there is the possibility that my header at the time had a picture of a protest sign that read, "That's Mr. Faggot to You" also where I got the name of this blog. I think it was that header and possibly my use of f****t, which in all reality could be the word florist <lol> instead of course my meaning of faggot. Even I knew better than tempt the algorithm's of Twitter. And in all reality Twitter is a private company which can and does set it's own rules--- it is THEIR sandbox.

Imaging being a private citizen and pull some of the hair brained things a certain very recent ex-president did for four years and get away with it. It wasn't until the Capitol was stormed that social media as a whole silenced the nonsense and out right lies. It screams double standards.

So with this new Twitter account you will rarely see me use f****t at all, and you certainly never see it in a meme or gif. Instead I've opted for something a bit safer with #girlboy, which seems less offensive to many but in my thinking could be the same thing. However, if Twitter gets a bee in their bonnet about the porn issue--- gifs, and pictures-- which thousands of of other followers us, I or them could be deleted again. Is it right, no. But it's their "sandbox" and we've got to play nice... for now.

Superiority?

 So, I posted this on Twitter awhile back, something I found on the Internet that I felt fit what I Tweet about, which is being pussyboy, which in my mind--- at least-- is a step differnt than just sub. That, at least for me, I see myself more than just a sub. Maybe, a bit deeper into the mindset-- if you will, but the same ideas just off kilter a bit. I't hard to explain as I'm still trying to process what I truly want to say about MY being pussy, which has changed my first post here on the topic.

Anyway, I got a reply back:

I don't mean to be disrespectful. But I've spent my entire life with that inferiority issue, due largely in part to being overweight and "average." I refuse to be humiliated and shamed just because I don't look like a mainstream porn star. Yet likely perform better than some. I guess this is why I make a lousy sub. I love servicing men, and I take great joy in doing it. I am known for putting the needs/desires of others first. But I am not inferior. As a matter of fact, a skilled "inferior" can have a great deal of control over the "superior" one.

Ok, this is just MY TAKE on this issue. Superiority in my thinking is he has achieved something I never will... MACHISMO! A strong masculine pride. I'm far from masculine. I've been accused of, in the past, of being far too sissified for my own good. Uh, yup. Bingo, you win a prize; and you know something I'm damn proud of it too. I'm gay! I love sex with men! I take it up the ass as much as I can get it. I rarely ever top; I can actually count the times. I view my "hole" as pussy. I call it that, and I enjoy... believe it or not... being emasculated because I've never fully seen myself as a man. I certainly don't see myself as a woman either, I'm unique. Third gender if you will, as Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld wrote and spoke about in the 1890's to 1930's. A male, with a feminine soul.

I wasn't meant to top other men. I knew this very early on, like at fifteen or so; But I knew very early on I was different. The word gay came into my life at thirteen when the bullying started, but it also made everything click. Oh that is what this is. I'm also the type that makes a great housewife. Actually the military came in with one of those tests of what you can do based on a myriad of things and I was told I could be a housewife, or a secretary if I APPLIED myself to do that <lol>. I'm also the type to blur gender lines; like wearing high heeled shoes wearing a man's suit or wear makeup as a man. But I've always been like that. It doesn't make me less just different. Different is good for if we were all the same life would be boring as fuck!

But, societal norms say that does NOT qualify as "manly" before. My response is fuck that! Why do I have to fit YOUR norms? I don't. Not now. Not ever. I'm happy being male, happy being a sissy, happy being a #girlboy, happy being seen as effeminate. I'm truly me and aren't we all suppose to be that way? Our own true selves.

Now on to another issue.... I'm 54 fucking years old! In gay life that's like 350 years old. I've always been average. Always. And as I age, it's still true. But what percentile of our population fit that stereotype? I think it few and far between, with average guys making up the bulk; but we are forced feed this societal norm of male beauty, masculinity, youth, ruggedness and other bullshit that we for MANY reasons buy into it. In all of my years of having sex with men, the vast majority are just average... like me. I've had a few real "head turners" in my day but they are very few; and the older I get the less it happens. Old in gay life seems to represent undesirable but yet last year when I did research into aging and being gay 60% of our LGBTQIA+ population is OVER 50 years old! Where is that representation? Where is that gay porn? Where are those models and images--- you get the idea. No where because aging for society is undesirable as well. Honey we all, for the most part do it. As my Gram used to say it beats the alternative!

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I've suffered from body dysmorphia my entire life when it comes to my weight, and no matter what I weigh it is 3000% worse than reality! From being anorexic at 105 pounds--- I stand 5ft. 10 in. by the way--- to obese at 280 pounds. So I get the issue big time. In the last year and a half I went from 280 to 180. I look amazing! I feel better too. But I worked my butt off. But, if I get back up there I know now I'm comfortable with my self image--- finally--- no matter what I weigh. Health is a different issue for me, anyways but that's another post <lol>.

I think, at least for some of us, that are subs we might long to be the things we are not; but true happiness comes in knowing who you are, what you are and what you want. Accepting it, embracing it, and finally celebrating it!

I think our journey's in life are uniquely our own. Our struggles, trials, triumphs, tragedy's, successes, failures or whatever are also uniquely our own as we individually handle these issues differently. The paths we choose are different. The results are different. It's all different. But, I also think we can all learn from each other if we just listen.

Superiority and inferiority is a societal pressure. Somebody, always has to be better at something, or so it seems. But I'm not one that advocates shaming, belittling, bullying others EVER! Differences just make us different nothing more.

How do you accept that you're a sub because, I'm struggling with that...

How do you accept that you're a sub because, I'm struggling with that?

    So this morning I was asked this question on Twitter from one of my followers, and of course I felt it required an in depth response. I want to start here by sharing my all time favorite quote. It's by Toni Morrison, and while it is aimed at former slaves within the context of the story; the message and words of this quote so ring true, I believe for those of us in the LGBTQIA+ Community and yes, even within the submissive community even more so because we, I feel at large, are sadly misunderstood:

        “In this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it.             Love it hard. Yonder they do not love your flesh. They despise it. They don't love your eyes; they'd just          as soon pick em out. No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people         they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your                    hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke                 them on your face 'cause they don't love that either. You got to love it, you! And no, they ain't in love             with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again. What you say out of             it they will not heed. What you scream from it they do not hear. What you put into it to nourish your             body they will snatch away and give you leavins instead. No, they don't love your mouth. You got to             love it. This is flesh I'm talking about here. Flesh that needs to be loved. Feet that need to rest and to             dance; backs that need support; shoulders that need arms, strong arms I'm telling you. And O my                 people, out yonder, hear me, they do not love your neck unnoosed and straight. So love your neck; put         a hand on it, grace it, stroke it and hold it up. and all your inside parts that they'd just as soon slop for         hogs, you got to love them. The dark, dark liver--love it, love it and the beat and beating heart, love             that too. More than eyes or feet. More than lungs that have yet to draw free air. More than your life-            holding womb and your life-giving private parts, hear me now, love your heart. For this is the prize."

    Powerful stuff right? So let's unpack why I think this so fits within a gay submissive context. As I said before the quote, we are sadly misunderstood and many times misrepresented to exactly who and why as well as why we do what we do; and that is a large area of interpretation and self expression with each's persons submissive journey being their own. However, there are similarities. We just to need to acknowledge them and talk about them amongst our submissive peers. 

    For out yonder, many hate us for not only being gay, but as being seen WEAK and, dear god help us, as being feminine; something of which a man, in many opinions, must never be accused of doing for that is in many opinions is and can be social suicide as well as to the "delicate" masculinity so many try to cling too. This idea of masculinity at all costs in my opinion is outdated, and is not the norm by far for many of us. Men do cry, we have emotions and fear, and doubts and we have every right to express them and doing so doesn't do anything except make us human, like everybody else. But lord help those of us who do show emotions for again we are reviled and we are beyond despised. It can be daunting to be seen this way but as my Gram used to say, "honey, that's THEIR problem not YOURS."

    So the first step is acceptance, in my opinion it is to love your self, and love yourself hard. As Morrison also says in Beloved, “Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all.” So not just loving yourself hard but also thickly. By this I mean fully, all of our faults, shortcomings and what not; love every single aspect of who and what we are, and that includes being submissive. This of course is not an easy process to love oneself, and many people struggle with it in some form their entire lives. But we have to do it, for there is another saying Rupaul is known for, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you going to love anybody else?" Learning to love yourself can be a life long journey for many, but I believe it is a growing journey and changes in time as we discover ourself more as we grow older. I wish I knew at 20 what I know now at 54.

    This excerpt: Love your hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face 'cause they don't love that either. You got to love it, you! 

    

For me speaks very strongly of this idea that what we as submissive's do is service. From hands to our entire body and yes, even our spirit. It is an all consuming service, that not only brings us sexual pleasure but also our "spiritual", for lack of better words, fulfillment. From domestic service, to obedience, to submission, to being of sexual use to our Dominants/Daddies; but so many just get hung up on the sexual when in reality it is so much more. One word comes to mind in this area and it is boi-wife. For some means this idea of the 1950's submissive housewife we all know so well, and if we don't henny that's what Google and YouTube are for. But, within this idea of service even here we have to deeply love of what we are doing, and why, as well as love the man, or men in which we serve, and yes this even applies to the one night stand for even then we are of service. Service also means we provide and in this sense we have to take action, put ourselves out on the "dating market/cruising arena" so we can find the man, or men to which we will serve. For I think that without service, and yes this applies to even sexual, we aren't much of anything and we feel that in our very fiber when we are not. Many of us long for full time round the clock service/submission and again this is a very vast field to which I could talk about all day; but we must find the arena in which we feel we are best suited too, and there are many.

     And no, they ain't in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again. What you say out of it they will not heed. What you scream from it they do not hear. What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give you leavins instead. 

    We have to be able to put to words for ourselves first, then for others our desires, our needs, our wants, our fantasies, and that can be a very scary thing; and yes this does require trust in the person you are telling it too. But without putting to words and speaking it, how will we know, let alone others knowing as well. Fear shouldn't stop us in what we want but why, how, when and yes even by whom--- even when that could includes hundreds of men. Fear can be all consuming, but overcoming it provides great strength. This is a huge hurdle to overcome in my opinion because so many of us fear to put to words what it is we desire and not just for others, but for our very own selves. But how can we verbally speak words to others if we can't speak them for ourselves?

    We could take this step further, which I will, and say that when it comes to the mouth many who are subs also see their mouths as a hole/pussy for men to use and we must be able to not only provide that service to men but we must do it to the best of our abilities. Some even adapt their language to emphasize how they view their mouths: mouthpussy and or mouthcunt. For beginners who have never once given a blow job I'd practice with a dildo to gain the skills needed for a great blow job. This also applies to any other field of gay sex involving the mouth, and there are a few but because of length I'll leave for a later date.

    What one MUST take in mind also is just because we are submissive/passive doesn't mean we are a door mat! We have the right to say NO. We have the right to say what you are doing, or saying, or how you are treating me isn't right, and I'm not going to stand by and let you do this to me. We set the rules and guidelines of how we are treated by everybody we encounter, and this is far beyond the sexual realm; and quite frankly people get away with what we LET THEM. Period! That line is crossed and we speak up-- even if we have to scream it as Morrison implies, act, and if need be end the relationship with that person whoever they are. We are the the ones who are in real control and don't forget it.

    The last phrase in Morrison's quote is about loving one's heart... and by this I'm going to say everything from your emotions, to feelings, to relationships, to sexual encounters to every aspect of your life. Act and or behave in a way, that we are of to service in some way to everyone we meet, for in some way we are--- that is a mind blowing idea isn't it. But while serving and being submissive and passive we must love what we are doing and just not with our hearts but with ever fiber of our being, for without that we are just acting in motion, if you will, sort of in a limbo of actions with no meaning, or purpose, and no motivation. A lot of what we do as subs is an action we do or create, but I'm going to be a bit controversial and say that is way more head and heart space. An emotional, rational and spiritual space that everything comes out of and I'm hoping that makes sense. 

For many of us it is of being service, providing that service and while many focus on the joys of nonsexual service and believe me there are many; this last year for me I discovered my biggest joy came by providing sexual service more and I'm sure some would classify that as being more faggot behavior than sub-ish behavior. Faggot behavior, and this is just MY opinion is a step beyond sub behavior. A lot of the behaviors and thinking are the same, but for me, it is that we see the role primarily as a sexual one with few limits or boundaries.

Since we are talking sexual here, and my own thinking, I'm going to say that it is even a bit more "beyond", for lack of a better word, being a faggot as I see myself and my person as just mere pussy; and for me that is solely the one in my ass. Yes I love sucking cock, and yes I do a lot of it, and yes I see it as a form of pussy, but, again for me, spreading my ass cheeks and presenting my pussy to a man and then him fucking me and then breeding me--- is everything to me. It fulfills me in a way nothing else ever can or will. My thinking is consumed with how can I do this all the time. Where and how will I get the next dick to fuck me. Who for me doesn't really matter, just that they want to fuck me is enough, and for some that is indeed radical thinking. But it goes back to a post here in this blog where a follower of mine on Twitter that said his body and being where just the life support system for him being merely pussy. If you were to ask if me I were a sub the reply would be, "I do, but is more of my being pussy."

I hope this helps you....