How do you accept that you're a sub because, I'm struggling with that?
So this morning I was asked this question on Twitter from one of my followers, and of course I felt it required an in depth response. I want to start here by sharing my all time favorite quote. It's by Toni Morrison, and while it is aimed at former slaves within the context of the story; the message and words of this quote so ring true, I believe for those of us in the LGBTQIA+ Community and yes, even within the submissive community even more so because we, I feel at large, are sadly misunderstood:
“In this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it. Love it hard. Yonder they do not love your flesh. They despise it. They don't love your eyes; they'd just as soon pick em out. No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face 'cause they don't love that either. You got to love it, you! And no, they ain't in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again. What you say out of it they will not heed. What you scream from it they do not hear. What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give you leavins instead. No, they don't love your mouth. You got to love it. This is flesh I'm talking about here. Flesh that needs to be loved. Feet that need to rest and to dance; backs that need support; shoulders that need arms, strong arms I'm telling you. And O my people, out yonder, hear me, they do not love your neck unnoosed and straight. So love your neck; put a hand on it, grace it, stroke it and hold it up. and all your inside parts that they'd just as soon slop for hogs, you got to love them. The dark, dark liver--love it, love it and the beat and beating heart, love that too. More than eyes or feet. More than lungs that have yet to draw free air. More than your life- holding womb and your life-giving private parts, hear me now, love your heart. For this is the prize."
Powerful stuff right? So let's unpack why I think this so fits within a gay submissive context. As I said before the quote, we are sadly misunderstood and many times misrepresented to exactly who and why as well as why we do what we do; and that is a large area of interpretation and self expression with each's persons submissive journey being their own. However, there are similarities. We just to need to acknowledge them and talk about them amongst our submissive peers.
This excerpt: Love your hands! Love them. Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face 'cause they don't love that either. You got to love it, you!
For me speaks very strongly of this idea that what we as submissive's do is service. From hands to our entire body and yes, even our spirit. It is an all consuming service, that not only brings us sexual pleasure but also our "spiritual", for lack of better words, fulfillment. From domestic service, to obedience, to submission, to being of sexual use to our Dominants/Daddies; but so many just get hung up on the sexual when in reality it is so much more. One word comes to mind in this area and it is boi-wife. For some means this idea of the 1950's submissive housewife we all know so well, and if we don't henny that's what Google and YouTube are for. But, within this idea of service even here we have to deeply love of what we are doing, and why, as well as love the man, or men in which we serve, and yes this even applies to the one night stand for even then we are of service. Service also means we provide and in this sense we have to take action, put ourselves out on the "dating market/cruising arena" so we can find the man, or men to which we will serve. For I think that without service, and yes this applies to even sexual, we aren't much of anything and we feel that in our very fiber when we are not. Many of us long for full time round the clock service/submission and again this is a very vast field to which I could talk about all day; but we must find the arena in which we feel we are best suited too, and there are many.
And no, they ain't in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again. What you say out of it they will not heed. What you scream from it they do not hear. What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give you leavins instead.
We could take this step further, which I will, and say that when it comes to the mouth many who are subs also see their mouths as a hole/pussy for men to use and we must be able to not only provide that service to men but we must do it to the best of our abilities. Some even adapt their language to emphasize how they view their mouths: mouthpussy and or mouthcunt. For beginners who have never once given a blow job I'd practice with a dildo to gain the skills needed for a great blow job. This also applies to any other field of gay sex involving the mouth, and there are a few but because of length I'll leave for a later date.
For many of us it is of being service, providing that service and while many focus on the joys of nonsexual service and believe me there are many; this last year for me I discovered my biggest joy came by providing sexual service more and I'm sure some would classify that as being more faggot behavior than sub-ish behavior. Faggot behavior, and this is just MY opinion is a step beyond sub behavior. A lot of the behaviors and thinking are the same, but for me, it is that we see the role primarily as a sexual one with few limits or boundaries.
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