I was asked on Twitter recently about my advice to someone going to a gay bath house or sex club for the first time...
Let me tell you do I know this topic, and KNOW this topic well! I first visited a bath house in the summer of 1985, in Fort Lauderdale I was not quite 18 years old. I was terrified out of mind, for I knew nothing about them, but never having been to one I wasn't exactly sure what to expect or do. By 19, however, I was "seasoned".
First, in my thinking, there is a small pre-step for some of us that go to the baths. My first advice is to you bottom boys. Enema or shower-shot yourself out, nobody likes a "dirty/messy" pussy. Not sure if I've said this before or not, but will say it now, you got to do it until the expelled water runs clear. No exceptions, no short cuts. But with proper nutrition & fiber it isn't a huge deal.
Second, don't take valuables with you, ever! Jewelry, cash, your wallet. Hell, I've had tricks there steal my lube and poppers. Most places require an ID, and I only carry enough cash to get in. Most places have lock boxes too, for your ID and keys which may or may not be included in the entry cost. Some places have a 6 month or year membership plan, plus your entry fee, so know and plan for this in advance.
Third, nearly all bath houses have rental options. IE: lockers, single rooms, deluxe rooms. A locker is exactly that, a gym locker that you get a key with usually on an elastic band. Single rooms are big enough for a twin size mat/mattress usually bed height with a numbered key. Deluxe are rooms big enough for a double or sometimes queen mat/mattress, with a numbered key. Prices vary, so preplan for cost. Some places have reduced rates certain nights, or for a certain age demographic, usually under 25. Most places have time restrictions too, usually 8 to 12 hour stay before repaying to stay longer.
Fourth, SEX. The whole reason you go to the baths in the first place. In this day in age, thankfully there is some pre-step stuff to consider. Example: PREP. Medication that helps prevent HIV/AIDS besides a condom. Of course this is IF you choose to bareback or not, and I'm not here to advocate either one, just inform. Most places offer free condoms, and free single use lube min-pacs if you choose that route. I find most barebackers, on either side, discuss anything in relationship to it including, but not limited to their own status. I also find, just my experience, that most tops do bareback. This is all up to you and IF you choose a strict condom use rule, you have every right to do so. Flip-side, of course, is a very strict NO condom use rule. Be aware of course if on PREP, that it doesn't prevent other sexually transmitted diseases. But, with that said in the 36 years I've gone to baths I've only had crabs once.
Fifth, attitude and willingness are every-damn-thing! I've met types of guys who have very strict standards of the types of guys they have sex with, others who have no standards at all. The pickier you are, in my opinion, that lowers your chance of sex. I'm beyond tired of slut shaming, especially slut shaming if you're the bottom boy. Our desires are just as strong as those of tops, and in some cases I think more so ie: the gangbang bottom boy. Sex can and does happen anywhere at any time, and viewing it can be unescapable, but that's also part of what you go for. I LOVE being watched as I get fucked, personally.
A. The room. An open door, with an occupant in it means visitors wanted, the type of visitor I'll get too in a second. On the bed, naked, on his back can mean a variety of things. Body language and an inner "beyond gaydar" radar I think is required to read if the guy is a top or bottom. At it's simplest it means he's wanting a blowjob. At it's most complex it means he wants sex, roles to be determined by either of you, or him, or even you. Naked, ass up I was told years ago meant one thing, BOTTOM! He wants fucked. There are levels of body language I think. Just ass up, laying flat I want a top. Ass high in the air, legs spread wide, back arched, your pussy pre-lubed = fuck me and fuck me now; just ram it home. The rules of the room also can apply to like the steam room, sauna, video lounge, sundeck if they have one and the pool. I 'm also the type to ask the guy walking in to leave the door open as we "fuck", as I was told years ago it encourages other tops to join in, or have them come back. Of course it's up to the guy walking in to leave the door open or not. I'm also the type to undress with the door open when I first get there, which in some cases has brought a guy in.
B. I find that a lot of conversation may or may not happen. Some guys are there just for the sex, myself included. The more the merrier, myself included. A lot of what happens sexually just seems to unfold, if you will. But, I know what I'm willing to do, or not do and I try to convey that non-verbally. Doesn't always work, but when it does magic! Not every time you go will you have sex, this is especially true during the current COVID-19 crisis, and not every place may even be open, while others may have restrictions to steam rooms, video lounges, hours or what not. Signs, seem to be up for those current restrictions. Here in Ohio, it seems that masks are required in public spaces, but not in private rooms. Again signs seem to be posted about this one too, but as the months have worn on I find it's not strictly enforced.
C. Sex anywhere. I'm the type if you're walking the hall I find you attractive, and you're approaching I'm the type that will fall to my knees, open my mouth--- sign that I'm willing to suck you right there, right now and will. I'm the type to get fucked on site, anywhere with no qualms. I'll present in a way that hopefully invites you to fuck me--- see note A. I also find that guys who like sex in public spaces, like being watched and I'm the type to watch or even join in. If you're open minded enough you can have all kinds of fun with, all kinds of guys and, with for the most part, no strings attached.
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