As I said in a previous post I met my first lover in a gay bar. I was a cocktail waiter, he was a stripper. i was not quite 19 he was 36. We had three wonderful years before he died of AIDS in 1988. I wasn't even 21 when he died, and it left me totally destroyed.
The second man I met in 1992 because he took care of a mutual friend that died of AIDS in his home, surrounded by friends and family. We met because I wanted to make a panel for him for the AIDS Quilt. We hit it off instantly, had a commitment ceremony the following year and were together for 10 glorious years before he died of HIV Complications.
Years ago you cruised bars, baths, parks, gay campgrounds, the beaches, even grocery stores, or any were gay men gathered. The Advocate and other gay magazines and newspapers had ads in them--- way before internet. Friends would introduce you to men, set up blind dates. Some LGBTQ community centers would have single nights. It seemed easier.
Then the internet, changed everything. The advancement of cell phones changed the dating landscape even more. Some say for the better, some say for the worse. I guess it depends on your point of view, and if you're wanting a hook up, versus a date, versus something much longer.
I think upfront honesty is key. An open dialogue sets the stage to wherever your connection takes you. Lay out your wants, needs, desires, even fantasies. I know it's risky, but it could pay off big time in the long haul. I'm still a bit "old fashioned" in meeting people, a few hook ups online, but I'm more the type to strike up a conversation in person wherever it is we run into each other, especially if it's clearly a "gay" area. I've had a few friends try to set me up too, god bless them for trying. I think it's hard to have good dialogue online, but maybe that's me, and maybe it's because I'm 54 and not 24. Mind you not that 54 is over the hill, as it is not. But social media has seriously impacted they way we connect with other people for the better and for the worse. Nothing beats getting together with friends at your home over food in my opinion. You can't really do that on your cell or laptop.
There are so many options to with gay groups like" baseball, bowling, football, gay pride events or volunteer or help organize the event, gay support groups---- you get the idea. Bars are still an option if you ask me, gay friendly churches from Metropolitan Community Churches, to gay groups in Jewish temples to even Dignity a gay Catholic group.
Get yourself out there, and fun. I always found for me, that I found love when I wasn't even really looking.
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