I was asked this question very recently on my Twitter account and I felt it deserved a longer answer than Twitter would allow, and a thread answer didn't seem the route to go. I have some thoughts on this as well as some experience on the matter.
True monogamy, I think, can exist but it's definitely not easy by any means, not for everyone, and for some people makes them out right miserable.
The Health Research Funding found that:
1. 60% of affairs that begin at work: 60%.
2. Up to 60% of all spouses will take part in some form of infidelity at least once.
3. 56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages.
4. Infidelity is becoming more common among people under 30.
5. In many cases, infidelity never gets discovered.
6. Most people are surprised by their own behavior at the start of an affair.
7. Almost everyone admits to having fantasies that involve someone other than a spouse.
8. Cheating is not the leading cause of divorce in the world today.
9. 50% of husbands who will eventually cheat.
10. Cheating laws are rarely enforced, adultery is considered to be a crime in Michigan, Minnesota, and South Carolina.
11. The percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%.
12. 22% of men admit to straying at least once while being married.
13. The average length of an extra-marital affair: 2 years.
14. 31%. of marriages that stay together after a cheating spouse has been discovered.
15. 74% of men say that they would have an affair if they knew that they wouldn’t be caught.
16. 17% of cheating spouses have an affair with one of their in-laws..
17. The overall chances that a marriage will have one spouse cheat over the life of the marriage: 1 in 4.
With this all said, I think the debate over whether cheating is right or wrong is boiled down to centuries of religious dogma and not much else. All religious dogma has created this dynamic that it's sinful, unnatural, ungodly---blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to get into a religious debate but this is just a bunch of bunk. Not everybody is religious, not everybody believes in anything beyond here, now and beyond us--- meaning the eternal. You believe great for you but it ends there.
Next is this insane idea that one person can be enough in every way that I don't need to look elsewhere. Uh, ok I guess but that doesn't work either for nearly everyone. I think cheating is innately built, that we are made to do it. I've done it many times, have never been found out. Did I feel guilty, yeah I did after but guess what I did it again.
Some relationships are open to the idea of playing with others, of the "spouse" watching, or doing it together, or being open when it happens. This is not cheating in my mind as the other is fully aware. I've had this too. Worked great, as we knew we still loved each other even with a strangers cum up our asses.
Social media and should I tell. My advice here is ONLY if it's yours with no access to your partners, or friends, or family or coworkers as it could come back and bite you in the ass, as they say. Admit to what your comfortable sharing. If sharing photos/vids I, personally would never show my full face with another guy but that's me. It could work for you but be careful who you know intimately that would have access to it. You don't need blackmailed. Social can be a great thing, it also can be a horrific thing. I think you can figure out your comfort level, as you know you best. Push comes to shove you can always delete it, but it never does fully go away as anybody can save anything.
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