What happens when you are no longer with your Daddy/Husband? (EDITED)

 What happens when you are no longer with your Daddy/Husband?

I've really wanted to do this post for awhile now, but fear has stood in my way. I guess fear of being to vulnerable. To honest. To open and I think deep down feeling too needy. But not anymore. I wanted to have an honest conversation with all of you, my faithful readers about my first-hand experience the last two years after losing my husband of 18 years on July 29th, 2021. Daddy Jim and I were together eighteen years. The last two of it in hospice in our home. It wasn't easy, but now those last two years are the ones that mean the most to me.

Prior to that, eight years before (for a total of 10 years) we didn't have sex as his prostate had been shaved as it had grown enlarged and needed to be treated. It also made his erections impossible and once that happened he lost interest physically as well as sexually. It also meant he lost interest romantically too, again not ideal but we made it work. Not ideal, but it was what it was. We also grew to the point where we shared different bedrooms as:

 1. I was sleeping better alone.

2. It gave me time to use my dildo's. Again maybe being too honest here but it's the truth. Without his sexual interest & being in a monogamous relationship I had to have some kind of outlet.

You may be asking yourself why did I even stay. Simple, I loved him and I still do even though he's been gone two years. We had too much time together to throw it all away, and all we had was each other as neither of us had family that talked to us; and I still don't. I learned all too brutally that after my mother dying before I lost my husband that she was the "glue" that made my immediate family polite... with her death the true feelings of hatred came out. Besides there were other ways in which I could serve, some of which I mention in my interview here: https://thatsmrfaggot2you.blogspot.com/2021/08/my-interview-with-hierarchypcast.html

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, housework, entertaining our friends, and loving him the best way I knew how including keeping him at home like he wanted as he got worse physically. He was 79 years old when he died. I was just 55; and no matter how much you think you're prepared for someone who's very ill to die you never are. It was both an incredible loss and a relief to see his suffering stop I went from being a suburban Stepford boi-wife to widow over night. Years of turning to someone for advice to not having that at all. That's been one of the harder things these last two years. I never made big decisions without his advice or input and losing that was an impossible thing to move beyond even though I was forced to make gigantic decisions all alone. Decisions I had never made before. Doing things like get my first apartment on my own in my own name and doing it 55 years old. It was an impossible hurdle filled with so many doubts about so many things... including did I even do the right thing. The struggling was believing in myself and still is,  I was just dependent on having his advice and input for everything. In some ways that dependency was way too much because a lot of the time I felt frozen in fear and doubt. Doubt still sucks the very life out of me...not that there is much of a life without him. Work, eat sleep and repeat.

The other is that in 18 years time I've grown "older", dating has changed so much I don't recognize the scene anymore. It seems strangers in gay bars don't talk like we used to. We certainly don't dance like we used too either... at least here in Cleveland anyway. Gone from being needed by somebody to not feeling needed by anyone. It seems like everyone is on there phone texting someone or doing lord knows what.

The nights I do go out, which is rarely, I'm barely ever approached and somebody is talking to me first. That alone has me questioning everything about myself. Including my own appeal as I wrote about for the first time maybe three weeks ago. Am I even desirable in the first place? Can I find another long-term committed relationship with another loving man?

The "dating apps" or "hookup sites" 90% of the time at least for me don't lead anywhere and most of the times even the atmosphere of the baths in my opinion have changed. Guys even there are on their phones trying to lure someone outside of the baths to come to the baths to have sex when years ago you had sex with who was there. But then again I'm not in my early twenties like I was when  was going a lot. I rarely go now and 90%... again nothing happens. It seems at times nobody at the baths has sex any more which I find baffling. Maybe it's just a Cleveland thing or that the facility here is so big 98% of the time... no matter how many people are there... it seems empty.

There are so many things that I write about here and in my stories that just don't seem important anymore: like pussy training. Dildo play is nice, don't get me wrong here but it does grow old quickly... or at least has for me.  It also seems like why even bother doing pussy training at all... because it seems nobody wants it to begin with... or maybe it's just my perception. Now granted when people I work with said... "there is some truth to perception" and that comment was not related to anything I'm saying here in anyway but hearing that statement still didn't help my outlook on things. Because if that statement is true, then there is some truth to my perceptions... or could it be I'm throwing off that vibe? 

Granted somethings I just can't  let go of: like shower shot-ing out. I don't feel like myself if I'm not doing it at least every other day and I guess it's because I've done it for so long I don't feel "normal" if I don't. I feel irritable, bloated and just like "bleeck"if I don't. Somethings I would like to explore, like chastity, but what's the point if I have to hold the keys myself and only answer to myself. It doesn't seem worth the trouble now.

It's the "being of service" to men I miss most. I feel like I'm of no service to anyone including the people I work for or the customers we encounter everyday with what I do in my working life. It's the feeling not attractive.. not only physically but sexually as well. It's the feeling of not accomplishing anything worth while. It's the feeling of not being bred I miss most. The satisfaction that comes from knowing that by being bred you were/are "a good piece of pussy". And when it's gone you feel a sense of loss of not being good at anything. For me it's like I've lost my sense of purpose.

It seems very cruel to me to know fully that I thrive being of service, of being pussy for a man, that my pussy is my only sex organ then not be able to be pussy for men is beyond daunting. Or has it reached that point where it is all just ending anyway; and because of my age? Is 57 just to old to draw, attract anyone for anything or is it just the dynamic that has changed and I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time

I'm not really complaining here, it's just honest opinion, honest questions and sheer curiosity. The whole thing has me very depressed and very unfulfilled, and I feel like I can't be the only one going through this. If you are going through this as you're reading this, please leave a comment about how it's affecting you and what you do to currently combat it.

Currently, I'm not combating it....

Abe's Present

I was at my best friends house. He was throwing a birthday party in honor of my 18th. Several hours into the evening, his big brother, John, grabbed me and took me up to his room to receive my personal present from him. As soon as we entered he closed and locked the door, leaving me speechless and just the tiniest bit confused. He then grabbed me roughly, ripped of my clothes, and pushed me to my knees before he got naked as well.

“I have watched you grow up since you were eight years old. Playing "house"with my little bro as "his wife" in our sisters apron. Having sleepovers where I heard him fuck you for the very first time. Goofing around while we all skinny dipped on those weekend camping trips just "us guys" and again heard him fucking you. Checking me out every single chance you got. You are old enough now, it’s time for you to become MY dick sucking cum whore you were born to be.”

"What about your brother? I'm in love with him."

"He was just helping me get you ready for ME! Don't believe me. Ak him yourself."

Just then Henry walked out of the bathroom fully clothed.  "Sorry, Abe. It's true. It's George that's in love with you. Not me. George knew he couldn't do anything till today, your eighteenth birthday, but he wanted you fully trained before then to take on the role of his lover."

Crying all I could ask was, "Why?"

"He offered to pay my way through college. He. really does love you. Way more than you could ever realize."

"This true, George?"

"It is. Deeply." He pulled out a Tiffany's blue box. I really began to cry then. "Abe, darling don't cry. Just do Daddy two small favors."

"What are they George?"

"Say yes and present your pussy to Daddy."

I spun around on the carpet, bent over, raised my ass high in the air, spread my legs wide and flashed George the pussy he deserved.

What's H-happening

“What’s h-happening?!” he shuddered beneath you. His locked lil dicklette leaking pre-cum between your bodies.

Shot after shot of thick cum flooded into your father, and he was powerless to stop it. In a couple of seconds, he wouldn’t even want it to.

“Shhhh, princess” you offered him one of your pits, letting your pheromones do the talking.

Pretty soon he was lapping away, quivering as waves of ecstasy flooded his newly softened brain. You just kept cumming deep in his pussy, letting nature take its natural course of action. He’d be knocked up soon, his body constantly craving your dick to feed the pregnancy.

“You’re welcome, Dad” you whispered, enjoying his pussygasms milking all the cum out of you, “I’ll let you thank me with round two later. After all we're here camping all week. Hope you're ready for a really sore & mpreg pussy, cause that's my plan.”

4 Big Questions From A Dear Follower

I got this great question from a follower on Twitter and I knew I had to respond:

 I just read https://thatsmrfaggot2you.blogspot.com/2020/10/advice-for-virgin-male-bottoms.html I have the disposable enema that I just dumped and reuse by filling up with like warm water but sometimes I feel I’m not doing it right. Or cleaning it fully like how do I know? Also how do I make it smell good cause I’m always worried it might still smell like an ass. Another thing about being hairless down there I saw I was going to use the cream bait but I saw they you shouldn’t put it near your hole. Mine is mostly hairless just near the hole area it has some hair and I would like it to be hairless if possible.

There's a lot to answer here and I'm going to do my very best to answer openly, honestly and even brutally if I must to give the most informationI can.

1. Disposable enema's: Going to be honest here, I'm not a fan of them. I think there is too much work involved in them. I also think at least from my experience they didn't do the job I wanted... and granted maybe I did them wrong. Who knows. I'm a fan of either the enema bag or shower shot. Which I will get into in the second question. However, I know some bottoms who swear by disposable enema's. There is an alternative to this and that is the https://www.amazon.com/Colt-Big-Cleanser-Anal-Douche/dp/B00KVGXRK8 something like the link--- enema bulbs. I think this could could work better for you.

2. Or cleaning it fully like how do I know?: Ok, this is an easy answer, at least for me. I say that because I'm one of those "princesses" who enema every day. I don't feel fully myself if I don't. In my opinion, a clean pussy is a ready pussy, just saying. This is why I like the enema bag or shower shot. For the longest time it was the old standard red enema bag to clean out, for decades. I swore by it. Then I show a video with a shower shot https://www.amazon.com/Aluminum-Vaginal-Cleaner-Stainless-Handheld/dp/B07S8PJ3ZD/ref=sr_1_4_sspa?crid=23UDPAL0YLCQ&keywords=shower+shot+for+men&qid=1692546061&sprefix=shower+shot+%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-4-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1  and bought it. I'm a huge fan of this. So easy to use and even install.

But your question is how do you know you are really clean. Easy you keep doing it till the water you expel runs clear. It may take a while but it will happen. Change in diet helps with this as well with more fiber and fruit and less meat as meat takes longer to digest. Some bottoms--- those who fist, also fat the day before they are fisted. I've even known some bottoms who do that just to get fucked.

3. How do I make it smell good cause I’m always worried it might still smell like an ass?

It's not weird get to know more about one of your most intimate body parts. But if a new level of familiarity has left you uncomfortably acquainted with the way your boi-pussy (this is the only time in this answer I'm using this term to make it clear I'm talking about males although what is said here can be applied to the cis-gendered female as well) smells, you might be having a few less-than-pleasant thoughts. Fear not— I can explain everything you need to know. you should get familiar with your own butt, so that if there is an issue (like an atypical unpleasant odor), you'll be able to notice something out of the ordinary more quickly.

Seeing our pussy frequently allows for us to detect a small change sooner . The benefit of checking yourself out is early detection of problems, that, if left, can turn into a more serious issue. That includes smell, infection, pussy cramps, and other issues. It's also particularly important to care for the butt and pussy regularly, since this is a pretty sensitive body part. I think one thing that people need to understand is that the pussy and pussy area is very thin, so you really need to treat it with respect. While keeping your pussy clean is paramount, you also need to be wary of over-cleaning, because it can disrupt the anal microbiome. Your pussy's ecosystem contains good bacteria that prevent infections. But if you use anti-microbial wipes or douche before anal sex, you could be more prone to infections if you sustain small cuts in your pussy. Fear not, here's everything you need to know about properly cleaning—and what to do if you're still smelling abnormally stinky down there.

Why does your pussy smell?

Here's a fun fact: As far as odors go, your pussy smell is similar to your armpit. They're both hard-to-reach areas, there's not a lot of air, there's hair, and there's moisture, so all of those things combined with sweat glands in the area can affect the smell. Body parts that aren't exposed to air are more likely to have a scent if you think about the B.O. hot spots on your body, they all have that in common, and it just so happens that both the armpit and butt area are also hotspots for pheromones, your body's natural scent. Of course, there's one big factor that makes the pussy smell different than an armpit: Poop comes out of it. "When you think about smell, everyone's minds go right to poop, so it's understandable though unnecessary if you're feeling a bit squeamish while asking, How do I stop my butt from smelling? 

Make sure you're washing your butt correctly. If you're got a smelly pussy, let's get back to basics and make sure you're wiping and washing correctly. You should wipe front to back using several wads of toilet paper if necessary, but resist the urge to use wet wipes because most people don't use them right. People use wet wipes and then pull up their pants, so what happens is that the moisture sits there, the moisture just festers, and it causes a change in bacteria and leads to irritation. This is basically the opposite of what you're after. I use wet wipes when at home primarily and then towel dry my pussy so I don't have sitting moisture.

Some people recommend either using a bidet or taking a shower post-poop to maintain the freshest scent and best overall pussy health. The key is how do you wipe the least and be the cleanest that you can be. Using a bidet or a water attachment of some sort or popping into the shower and cleaning yourself is your best bet for making sure your butt is clean. (hence my recommendation for the shower shot, which also in my opinion... although I'm no doctor reduces the number of times you poop during the day) 

If you think, my pussy smells even after washing, here's how to get rid of pussy odor

So you're wiping correctly, and even going the extra mile to use a bidet or gently cleanse your butt in the shower, but you're still having issues with stink? Here are some places to start.

Exfoliate: Consider opting for a body or butt scrub to slough off dead skin cell buildup and debris. A lot of people augment smell with different oils or lotions, and I am all for that. The purpose of a body scrub is to create a really good environment for healthy tissue, but also for a really good lingering smell. Essentially, we want to be just as attentive to our pussies—or even more so—as the rest of our bodies. The everyday grime from life's activities is not limited to our hands and faces. It accumulates across our entire body, including—you guessed it—the anal region. We sweat, we poop, we have sex, and all of these situations create bodily waste and fluids that need an appropriate scrub to cleanse and rejuvenate the skin. And just like the face, exfoliation is paramount to creating healthy pussy hygiene."

Keep your pussy dry: Outside of the shower, you'll want to be sure to keep the area as dry as possible. If you don't dry yourself off completely after a shower, the moisture is then sitting between your cheeks. When it's not dry, you're sitting all day long or all night with excess moisture, which can lead to a significant amount of issues. Those issues can turn into stinky problems, like bacterial or fungal infections. Eliminating moisture is also where your underwear choice comes into play. Moisture can be trapped if you're wearing older underwear, I stress that aeration is key for a better-smelling pussy area. The purpose of many of the newer pairs of underwear is aeration, which allows things to dry— especially if you're sweating. Change your breathable underwear frequently, especially post-gym. Or better yet—consider going commando or even a jockstrap (what I call our princess panties---- maybe a term I coined). Some people don't wear underwear at all, and the aeration is better, especially during summer months where there's so much moisture in that area that this smell may dissipate.

When to seek medical help

If you're noticing a sudden change in how your bum smells—if there's a fishy or foul-smelling order accompanied by discharge—or if you're dealing with other issues like pain, fever, and gastrointestinal issues, you might need to chat with a doctor to rule out hemorrhoids, inflammatory bowel disease, or other health conditions.

Sometimes a butt is just smelly. Never even considered how your butt smells? Fair. Butts aren't supposed to smell like daisies, and doing nothing for the sake of bettering your pussy smell is a-okay too. There are so many different camps of people. Some people don't use deodorant, and they love their natural scent. A lot of people like to be able to smell their partner and understand their natural smell. In other words: To each their own.

4. Another thing about being hairless down there I saw I was going to use the cream bait but I saw they you shouldn’t put it near your hole.

(BTW, I'll admit that this pic is ME) I would NEVER, NEVER put a hair cream remover anywhere near my pussy as the skin is just as sensitive or even more so than say your nipple. Years ago as a newbie drag queen I was using Nair on my chest to remove hair even after shaving it off as I needed to be that smooth. Anyway, I got the tiniest mount of Nair on it and caused a small burn on my nipple because of the product. Most people shave using disposable safety razors. Some go as far as to use feminine razors that are used for that area. Some go further and get it waxed (if I had the money I would go this route) and some go to the extreme and get it lasered off.

One thing to remember however, is that while being hairless is seen as the height of submissive "pussyboy-ness" (yes I'll create that word to get my point across) it isn't the end all of be all. Total body hair removal from shaving can be a bitch, let's be honest about that. As it is it can very often if your very hairy to begin with. But hairlessness is NOT for everybody. Some Daddies love a hairy girl. Hairlessness also isn't the end all of being effeminate. There I said it. I've met in my 57 years of life some overtly girl hairy gurls ( and I mean like, "hey gurl, hey" kind of girls) meaning very sissy. Look at the late Leslie Jordan, that was one hairy sissy.... Just a saying.

Let Me Do All The Work

 That's it... Just keep your hands on the wall, baby.

Uhh...Uhh... I'm... Oh God! I'm getting close... I can... I can feel something almost like a buzzing on the underside of my dick.

Oh, baby... you know, we've talked about that. You don't have a dick. You got a boy-clit.

UNGH! UNGH! Yeah... UNGH! You're right. I'm so sorry. I meant to say I got a buzzing on the underside of my boy-clit... UNGH! AHH!! JESUS CHRIST, I'M SO CLOSE!!

Yeah, baby. That's it. You just keep your hands off that clit and let me do all the work... But damn, your pussy is getting me close too!

UNGH! Oh God! UNGH! But what if you cum before I do?!

Well then, I'll just put your chastity cage back on and we'll try again later this week.

Oh my God! UNGH! UNGH! PLEASE! I don't think I can take that... AHH!! FUCK!! AHH!! FUCK!! AHH!! FUCK!! This is the third time you've fucked me since I agreed to let you try to teach me how to have a hands-free orgasm... UNGH!! UNGH!! OH GOD!! AHH!! FUCK!!

And you just keep getting closer and closer, boy... YEAH... AWW... SHIT, THAT PUSSY'S GONNA MAKE ME CUM!! AHH!! AHH!! ERRAAAGGHH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!!

WHOO-WHEEE!!

Damn you got a nice pussy, boy!

But... But I didn't cum, again!

Like I said, we'll try again later this week... WHOO! JEEZ! That was a good nut! Damn! Anyways, like maybe after I get home tomorrow we can try again. Now, c'mon... Hold still so I can get your cage back on...

BUT, Daddy!

Yeah, that's it, princess... Just like that! Just hold yourself over me while I fuck that sweet cunt of yours.

Oh God!!! UNGH!! UNGH!!

Shit! Your puss feels so goddamned nice on my prick! That's it... Lemme feel you squeeze that cunt while I work out a load of baby makers into that hot fuck sleeve.

UNGH!! UNGH!! Oh God, I wanna stroke my dicklette!

What did I tell you, baby girl? When I'm fuckin' you, you need to concentrate on that sweet twat of yours. Don't you worry 'bout that clit. Daddy's cock hittin' that princess spot up inside you is all the stimulation you need.

UNGH!! UNGH!!

Yeah, that's right... Feel the head of Daddy's prick mashing into that princess spot! UNGH!! FUCK YEAH!! You feel that, baby girl?!

UNGH!! UNGH!! Yes Daddy!! I feel it, Daddy!

Heh! Heh! Yeah, that's it! You just concentrate on makin' Daddy's dick feel good and let him worry 'bout fuckin' a load outta you...

UNGH!! UNGH!! But I'm so close, Sir!! If I could just stroke a couple...

NO!! I told you, it'll happen when it happens, baby girl! Now, tighten that cunt and let Daddy fuck! I don't wanna hear any more about you wanting to stroke that little clit. You hear me, princess?!

UNGH!! UNGH!! Yes Daddy..But that's what you said last time... UNGH!! UNGH!! I... I... I got so close to cumming, But you... you came... you came before I could get off... UNGH!! UNGH!!

And that's why you just need to shut up and concentrate on cumming while Daddy fucks your pussy! Now concentrate!  Just visualize... Visualize Daddy's hot, hard cock... fuckin' that little pink pussy of yours... Feel him as he's mashin' that sweet little princess spot... Feel him fuckin' that cunt and makin' that tiny clit of yours squirt... 

UNGH!! UNGH!! OH FUCK!! UNGH!! UNGH!! Oh God!! So close!!

Yeah, that puss of yours is gettin' Daddy close... so fuckin' close...UNGH!! UNGH!! SHIT!!  You ready for Daddy's hot load?!

UNGH!! UNGH!!! No, Daddy! Not yet!!

Too late, bitch... Daddy's gonna cum...  OH FUCK!! HERE IT COMES!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!!

But Daddy, I didn't cum, again!

That's OK, I told ya, it'll happen when it happens. Now, get your ass dressed and go home. And remember... no touching that little clit of yours!

But Daddy, I'm so horny!

Well, we'll just have to try again tomorrow. After all, who knows... Maybe third time's the charm!

Please, Just Stroke It!

UNGH! UNGH! Oh God, PLEASE Daddy... Please just stroke it! I'm so horny, Daddy. Please, Daddy! Please stroke my cock! I really need to cum!

JUST STROKE IT?! 

Why the fuck would I do that you stupid bitch?! Hell, the only reason I'm even touchin' the goddamned thing is because you can't seem to keep your fuckin' hands off it while I'm fuckin' your cunt! 

UNGH!! UNGH!!

You know that you fingering your little clitty while I'm tryin' to get my nut puts turns me off, bitch. 

UNGH!! UNGH!!

I'm tellin' ya, I'd keep that shit locked up while I'm fuckin' you if your constant whining didn't grate on my fuckin' nerves... so just be fuckin' greatful you're not caged right now, you stupid fuckin' slut!

UNGH!! UNGH!!

Besides, what'd I tell you about this fuckin' clit, bitch?!

UNGH!! UHNNNGGGGHHH!! That... That only men can cum by having their cocks stroked... 

Finish it! What did I tell you?

UNGH!!!! UNGH!!!! You said... UNGH!! You said that only men get friction and that princess dick is fiction, sir.

That's right! So if princess dick is fiction, then you really don't have one of those, do you, bitch?!

UNGH!!! UNGH!!! N-N-NO Daddy! UNGH!!!!

So then, how do girls get to cum?

UNGH!!! UNGH!!! A girl cums by... UNGH!!! UNGH!!! OH GOD!! UNGH!!! A girl cums by having her cunt stretched open by a man's dick.

That's right... And what are you, bitch?

I'm... UNGH!!! UNGH!!! Oh God, I'm a girl, Daddy!

That's right, you're a girl, so just be glad that I'm using your cunt!

But... But I'm so horny, Daddy! I haven't cum in over thirty weeks!

And who's fault is that, bitch?

( absolute silence )

*** SLAP! ***

I ASKED, WHO'S FAULT IS THAT, BITCH?!

Mine, Daddy..

And why is that?!

Because... because I don't work my cunt muscles enough while I'm getting my ass fucked, Daddy.

That's right, bitch! Because you don't work your cunt muscles enough, you lazy fuck!

But... But... Daddy... UNGH!! You always cum before I... UNGH!! Before I can get there... UNGH!! UNGH!!!

(Daddy picks up the pace and begins fucking  you a bit faster)

Well, maybe if you put in the work, you'd cum, you selfish little bitch. So, lemme feel it! 

UNGH!! UNGH!!

C'mon, squeeze your cunt around my prick!

UNGH!! UNGH!!

UNGH!! YEAH, SQUEEZE THAT CUNT!!

UNGH!! UNGH!! OH GOD!!

FUCK YEAH!! JUST LIKE THAT!!

(Sir picks up the pace and starts fucking the stupid fag's cunt even faster than before)

UNGH!! OH GOD!! PLEASE, SIR! UNGH!! UNGH!! PLEASE FUCK ME!!

Oh yeah, that cunt is gettin' me close...

NO Daddy!! PLEASE!! PLEASE JUST KEEP FUCKING ME!!

UNGH!! TOO LATE... I'M GONNA CUM!!

NO Daddy!! PLEASE!! DON'T CUM YET!!

NOPE! I'M CUMMIN', BITCH!! GET READY TO TAKE MY HUGE FUCKIN' LOAD... AWWWW... FUCK!!!!

UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! FUCK!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGH!! UNGGGGHHHH!!! FUCK!!!!

But Daddy, I didn't cum again!

Pfft! You know you didn't cum because you didn't work hard enough, bitch. Now, go get a bowl of ice water so we can get rid of that pathetic little hard-on and lock up that silly clitty-clit again.

Yes Daddy... 

No Homo Bro!

I couldn't stop jerking off to myself in the mirror. "I'm not gay, but damn I wish I could fuck that tight ass of mine." 

Yeah I heard you just say that, bitch! You can, bitch... and it's really easy! 

All ya gotta do is lower that sweet fuckin' ass of yours down on my rock-hard, prick - and then just start bouncing. 

Heh! Heh! Heh! Yeah, no homo, bro... but TRUST ME. You're gonna love my dick splittin' that cute, virgin hole wide open.

What's the matter? You look shocked! 

You know, if you didn't want it to happen, you shouldn't have said that out loud. So, tell you what... why don't you take your hand off that useless little dicklette of yours and put the lid on the toilet down...

That way, I can have a seat, and then you can have a seat on my cock.

No, man. C'mon, don't walk away. You know you wanna put my dick where it belongs... 

(Inside of that soon-to-be pussy of yours.)

What? Nah, it's not gonna hurt... much. 

(Actually, it's gonna hurt, but you'll find that out real soon.)

I'm tellin' ya, TRUST ME! I'm NOT gonna tell the guys! Besides, I think you're gonna love the head of my dick bashin' into your prostate.

No, BELIEVE ME! You're gonna love cumming this way!

(And it's the only way you're gonna be cumming, from now on as your going cunt up all the damn time.)

Yeah, you're probably right. You're gonna need lots of lube in order to take my prick. So just let me sit down on the toilet... then, you can get on your knees, between my legs...

That's right, don't be shy. Just go ahead and lube my dick up with your mouth.

No, seriously! No homo! It's just lube... besides, you're the one who was jackin' off in the mirror and wishin' you could fuck your own ass. I'm just offering to help you out...

Yeah, that's it! 

I knew you wanted my dick!

My cellphone? Nah, don't worry about it. It's for me. I told ya, man. No homo! I'm not gonna tell the guys... 

(I'm just gonna show 'em, princess).

Oh, fuck yeah! That's it! Suck my dick... get it all nice and wet. Now, look up here at the camera.

(What a stupid fucking bitch).

Daddy Tells The Truth

Daddy says “I gave you your cunt,” and I’ve seen that thought reflected elsewhere: the notion that we breeding bitch boys need a man to “give” us our cunt. I was always of the mind that we were born with that pussy, the way it craves dick. But Daddy’s right, like everything else in your otherwise shapeless life, our pussy is gifted to us by cock.

Sure, we’re born a submissive, and cock hungry bitches. We know that. But we don’t have a real cunt until a man gives it to us. We don’t derive pleasure from our twat until it’s been resized, broken in and flooded with cum. Wanting dick is different than having the proper tools to service dick. After a man properly fucks and breeds us, our once tight pussy takes on a better, more pleasurable gape; our swollen pussy lips are better designed to pleasure dick. 

Of  course we want this, and we need this more than anything else. So next time a man gives you what you need - his dick - thank him for giving you your pussy; thank him for feeding it; thank him for giving you purpose; for making you whole.

Being Vulnerable

So, I'm a bit drunk tonight--- which by the way I am very, very, very really drunk easily & it takes very little to be really drunk (no more than 3 drinks). And I'm a lot frustrated. Feeling very invisible at the moment, very irrelevant, and well, too fucking old. 

Now to begin with I must say I turn 57 years old this November. So not young in the least but not yet a fossil. (And yes that's my pussy to the left) But I was in a bar tonight with the theme "Gym Jock Night" and stood around in a jockstrap the entire night-- about 4 hours and I was NOT hit one ONCE! I felt foolish, silly, very old, and completely unattractive surrounded by all these buff guys with great bodies, bubble butts, and the typical gay fair you see in gay bars these days. Versus the guy next door, who is a bit too effeminate for his own good, and let's be honest an old queen, and 200 lbs.--which in gay terms might as well be 2,000 lbs.

The thing is, even in my prime of my 20's-30's I didn't feel attractive. Now it's even worse or at least feels worse. The confidence I struggle so much to have (and I do big time)... immediately flew out the window. Oh sure, I mingled and talked to a few people-- nothing too deep mind you but it led nowhere.

At the moment I write this I feel VERY un-fuck-able! If that is even a term. (Maybe I'm the one citing it) It's like now that I'm finally fully comfortable in my own skin & my gender let alone the kink side of me----nobody wants me. NO-FUCKING-ANYBODY. Am I at 57 just that repulsive, unattractive, and unwanted? If I am don't tell me! I don't want to know. Or is it I'm coming across without even saying a single word at all... as too needy? Too easy? Too whorish? What the actual fuck is the fucking issue??

I went really hoping tonight thinking I'd get hit on at least once, somebody would take me home, fuck me stupid, breed me deep, then kick me out before it got any later---typical gay bar fare of anonymous one-night stands. 

(Also me on the left here, ass up, pussy spread open--- my favorite thing to do <lol>) 

Is that so fucking much to ask? Looking at those gorgeous guys including the three professional strippers that were hired tonight... my pussy is sopping wet and nobody is wanting to fuck it. It's beyond pathetic! Spoke to a few people & they were kind but honestly, I wish they had been fresh & forward. And maybe I should have stayed longer.

It's not like I'm gross or anything. I'm just kind of average for my age bracket. SIGH!!!! And the goddamn part of it is that there is NO fucking way around the issue of my age! It is what it is, and right now I'm too drunk and frustrated to change my mindset. Just being honest. I'm also the type that in my life has never, ever gone to the gym like so many.

Like I can't be a big ole cum whore anymore. I know our community is a bit "ageist" and I guess I didn't feel it... for lack of better words.... until last night.

Maybe I'm too much in my head tonight, and more than likely too drunk (even if it was only three drinks, I swear) it just all can't come crashing down to nothing now. I've never felt more sexually alive than now, knowing more of what makes me tick, if you will. The desire to go ass up all the time has never been stronger, more demanding even. Maybe I need it for the first time in my life to go to the gym? Start doing squats? Not feel 'needy'. Not feel these feelings, and I'm only posting this because I know I can't be alone in feeling this way. Maybe make others feel this way not feel so alone. 

I'd very seriously like to hear from you if you've felt this way & how you coped & maybe somehow it could become a post here at a later date.

Twitter Question: Why call your ass a pussy? Why feminize it that way?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.